IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some educational experts say that children have to do homework. However, others say that homework does more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some educational experts argue that
children
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 should do
homework
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,
while
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 others say that doing
homework
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 is more harmful than
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views and represent my opinion. On the one hand,
homework
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 is harmful for
children
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. It can trigger some
stress
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 and make
lose
Correct word order
children lose's
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children
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's motivation to study.
For example
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, if one child
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
homework
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 a lot, he might
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get
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stress
Replace the word
stressed
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 and he doesn't even have his leisure
time
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 because of
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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he make an effort
for
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on
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 his
homework
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.
In addition
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, if the
homework
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 is a lot,
children
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 can lose
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 motivation easily and they will get score
stress
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.
On the other hand
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,
homework
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 can bring
childern
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children
 some study ability
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if they have
hamework
Correct your spelling
homework
, they can improve their knowledge or get a high grade on exams.
However
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, too much
homework
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them depressed.
Also
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, they can manage their
time
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 by doing
homework
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.
For example
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, if they get
homework
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, they might have to distribute their
time
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 to do their
homework
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. By doing
this
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, they will know how to manage their own
time
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 efficiently. In my opinion, doing
homework
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 is not that good. Because students' free
time
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 will be reduced. If they do their
homework
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 in the evening after finishing school, they might want to take
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 rest or do a hobby.
However
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, if they do
homework
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 at that
time
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, they can't take a rest.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, they will get lots of
stress
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.
Thus
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, I think having
time
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 for
homework
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 is more harm than good.

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task response
Improve how you handle the task by giving more clear reasons for both sides and add easy, clear examples to back them up.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words to show flow. Use words like First, Also, On the one hand, On the other hand, Therefore to move ideas.
grammar and accuracy
Check grammar and spelling. Use simple verb forms and keep word choice easy and correct.
approach
The essay tries to show both sides and gives your view.
content
Some examples show how homework can affect time and stress.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce
  • discipline
  • time management
  • parental involvement
  • academic challenges
  • stress
  • burnout
  • extracurricular
  • disparity
  • effectiveness
  • moderate
  • tailored
What to do next:
Look at other essays: