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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students today graduate high school and choose to continue their studies overseas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad?

Society today is very different,especially for where
people
Use synonyms
 go to
study
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 today like to travel to another
country
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
. Other
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay in their
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will compare what are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Traveling
Use the right word
Travelling
show examples
 to another
country
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 is amazing because it has many advantages.
First,
Linking Words
studying abroad is fantastic to have an international high diploma.Many student can find their project in another
country
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it’s very helpful to find jobs in the same domain.Second,studying abroad is great to be responsible and
work
Use synonyms
 to pay their expenses. Many
people
Use synonyms
 like to
work
Use synonyms
 even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
 have to
study
Use synonyms
 to pay their expenses before
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 parents
are paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 for
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they will be
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
 without asking for family support.Third,studying abroad is incredibly to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 relationships.
People
Use synonyms
 make new friends when they go to
study
Use synonyms
 in a different
country
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 helps
people
Use synonyms
 to know about different religions and
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 studying abroad
presents
Correct word order
also presents
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some disadvantages.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 feel alone
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 when they get sick. Most of the
students
Use synonyms
 will be more emotional if any sickness happens because of the absence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family and friends.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 compare their previous
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
 to the new one
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will feel the absence of their family and feel alone.
Second,
Linking Words
their family does not know what problems they are facing.
Students
Use synonyms
 can have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 issues at the university concerning their education.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they can face many issues about how
people
Use synonyms
 interact with them.
Finally
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 need to
work
Use synonyms
. Pay their expenses if parents are not able to send money sometimes.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Likewise
show examples
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 need the
work
Use synonyms
 anyway to be aware
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the technologies and follow life
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
. In conclusion,it is clear to see that studying abroad has many advantages.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has some disadvantages. It is the
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
student's
show examples
 responsibility to make it a positive experience.

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Task
Make ideas clear with one pro and one con, and give a short example for each.
Coherence
Use links like first, next, also, and but to join ideas better.
Grammar
Fix small word errors and spelling (for example 'responsable' to 'responsible').
Structure
Make short, simple sentences to show clear thought.
Organization
The essay has an intro, and a part on good and bad things, and a finish.
Language
Very simple and common words are used.
Content
It has many ideas about study abroad.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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