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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students today graduate high school and travel overseas to complete their education. Give both the advantages and disadvantages of travelling abroad.

Society today is very different,especially for where
people
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 go to
study
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. Many
people
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 today like to travel to another
country
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 to
study
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 at a university. Other
people
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 prefer to stay in their
country
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.
This
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 essay will compare what are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Travelling to another
country
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 to
study
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 has many advantages.
First,
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studying abroad is fantastic to have an international high diploma.Many student can find their project in another
country
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.
Also
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, it’s very helpful to find jobs in the same domain.
Second,
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studying abroad is great to be responsible and work to pay their expenses. Many
people
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 like to work even though they have to
study
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 to pay their expenses.
Also
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, they will be responsible without asking for family support.Third,studying abroad is incredibly to making relationships.
People
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 make new friends when they go to
study
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 in a different
country
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. It
also
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 helps
people
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 to know about different religions and cultures.
However
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, studying abroad
also
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presentsalso
Correct your spelling
presents
 some disadvantages.
First,
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people
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 feel alone , especially when they get sick. Most of the
students
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 will be more emotional if any sickness happens because of the absence of family and friends.
In addition
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,
students
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 compare their previous lifestyle to the new one , and they will feel the absence of their family and feel alone.
Second,
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their family does not know what problems they are facing.
Students
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 can have the same issues at the university concerning their education.
Also
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, they can face many issues about how
people
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 interact with them.
Finally
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,
students
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 need to work. Pay their expenses if parents are not able to send money sometimes. In conclusion,it is clear to see that studying abroad has many advantages.
However
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, it
also
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 has some disadvantages.

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improvement
Use clear and short sentences. Do not make long runs of ideas in one sentence.
improvement
Make one main point in each paragraph and add a small example.
improvement
Add more specific examples, like costs, living away, or visa rules.
improvement
Fix grammar and spell mistakes to make ideas easy to read.
improvement
Use linking words to connect ideas, such as also, but, in addition.
strength
You show both good and bad sides, which is a strong start.
strength
Clear start with the topic and idea of how the essay will be read
strength
Good structure of three parts: intro, body, and conclusion
strength
Attempts to discuss both sides and end with a view
strength
Many ideas on culture and how studying abroad can help

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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