Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion.

A part of

the

Correct article usage

Some

show examples

people can state

being

Correct word choice

that being

show examples

your own boss is better than working for the government or a firm. Being your own boss or working just to make someone rich -you do not even know

Punctuation problem

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the benefits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

both , before concluding that even though

self employement

Correct your spelling

self-employment

has entry barriers , in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long term it is going to

satisfiy

Correct your spelling

satisfy

you more.

Self-employement

Correct your spelling

Self-employment

offers freedom and high

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

. By freedom I mean , you can control your

working-hours

Use the right word

working hours

show examples

and you earn

higher

Correct word choice

show examples

than

Change preposition

in a

show examples

steady

job

Use synonyms

. If I need to explain by some example, someone can arrange their timeline

according to

Linking Words

their productivity and personal calendar

Linking Words

also

Punctuation problem

, also

show examples

by that, that person

going

Verb problem

is going

show examples

to have

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

work-life balance. It

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

not only helps the person with his

job

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

satisfies. In comparison to

that

Punctuation problem

that,

show examples

when you are your own boss, sometimes you may need to work for long hours because you have so many

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

Fix capitalization

show examples

must be good to know that,

at the end

Linking Words

of the

day

Punctuation problem

day,

show examples

you get the majority of what you earn. You put effort

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

you get credits.

Conversely

Linking Words

, a traditional

job

Use synonyms

provides security and benefits but often at the expense of personal freedom and limited growth. You do not worry about the income and payment

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

also

Linking Words

you know

Correct word choice

that no

show examples

matter how hard you

work

Punctuation problem

work,

show examples

you are going to earn

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

amount. Probably it will

discourge

Correct your spelling

discourage

people

to try

Change preposition

from trying

show examples

their best and it will have some negative effects on personal development. Employees often have to follow strict rules and have very little flexibility to expand their skills or responsibilities.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Punctuation problem

hand,

show examples

rules and routines can be

advantegous

Correct your spelling

advantageous

for them, no need to do anything if it is not your business/area

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

no matter how urgent

is the

Correct word order

the topic is

show examples

topic

Punctuation problem

topic,

show examples

you can always have your free time after 6pm , because working hours count as rules as well! In a nutshell, in order to survive and earn some money to live, we need to work. It is not so easy to wake up in the morning 5 days a week and try your best.

However

Linking Words

, I believe

at the end

Linking Words

of the day

Punctuation problem

, If

show examples

Fix capitalization

show examples

you feel satisfied and free ,

then

Linking Words

nothing else matters.And from my

perspective

Add a comma

perspective,

show examples

it is only possible if you own your own

job

Use synonyms

gulbasakarikok2001

Sep 14, 2025

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task response

Start with a clear view in the intro. State your view and main idea at once.

coherence

Put each new idea in its own paragraph. Use simple link words to show how ideas are connected.

task response

Give more clear and exact examples to back your points.

language

Fix small grammar errors to avoid confusing readers.

content

The writer looks at both sides of the work life.

content

The idea of freedom and money is clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

392 words

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Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?