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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at on social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at on social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of participants for different activities at one social
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 in two countries (Melbourne and Australia) between 2000 to 2020 .
Overall
Linking Words
, the participants of film is most
number
Use synonyms
 of subscribers in
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the 5 range . In comparison, the musical instruments and performances were the lowest line in the five different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
. The martial arts
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2005 from 35
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 to 30
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
 downward trend from 2010 to 2015. But, the same declined between 2000 to 2005 . And, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
simple
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of people, approximately 4 followers only. The table tennis was nearly equal the
number
Use synonyms
 of subscribers from 2000 until 2010 ,
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 three participants
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 different.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was
experienced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
rise
Correct word choice
significant rise
show examples
 significantly about 30 followers
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2020 .

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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