IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argued that young generations in some customs were taught to try hard on their goals in order to achieve them. I strongly believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages from this opinion.

There is no
delying
Correct your spelling
denying
 that
teens
Use synonyms
 try their best in
order
Use synonyms
 to accomplish their goals is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to their mental health.
Firstly
Linking Words
, chasing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a dream can
let
Verb problem
help
show examples
teens
Use synonyms
know
Verb problem
understand
show examples
 the
importance
Use synonyms
 of responsibility.
For instance
Linking Words
,
teens
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 into their bones in
order
Use synonyms
 to ace the exam with flying
colour
Fix the agreement mistake
colours
show examples
 or they practice
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
24/7 in
order
Use synonyms
 to win
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 competition. By working hard to achieve their goals, they would learn the value that the more
afford
Use the right word
effort
show examples
 they
pay
Verb problem
put in
show examples
, the more positive
outcome
Correct article usage
the outcome
show examples
 would be.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they would not take everything for
granded
Correct your spelling
granted
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they know the
importance
Use synonyms
 of working hard by themselves. Someone may claim that they are still young and why
dont't
Correct your spelling
don't
 the parents just provide them
whatever
Change preposition
with whatever
show examples
 they want.
However
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
Psycological
Correct your spelling
Psychological
 fact conducted by Dr.Liu, it shows that people are used to cherish the positive result which they paid afford to get,
instead
Linking Words
 of
provided
Verb problem
being provided
show examples
 by
oters
Correct your spelling
others
 easily.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential for
teens
Use synonyms
 to know that they should get whatever they want by paying hard
efford
Correct your spelling
effort
 themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
teens
Use synonyms
 can
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
 a strong network with others by working hard together in
order
Use synonyms
 to achieve their goals. In a basketball team, every
members
Fix the agreement mistake
member
show examples
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 their best to
comminicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 and
work
Use synonyms
 together in
order
Use synonyms
 to win the competition. In
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 atmosphere
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 everyone is trying their best and helping each other, they learn the value of teamwork and the
importance
Use synonyms
 of friendship.By trying their best and
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
togethere
Correct your spelling
together
 on the same pathway, they are used to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 their soulmate.If
teens
Use synonyms
 don't try hard in
order
Use synonyms
 to win the competition, they will not
work
Use synonyms
 together and communicate with teammates effectively as they don't have the strong
willing
Replace the word
will
show examples
 to win it . In conclusion, it is of paramount
importance
Use synonyms
 that youngsters should learn to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their dreams by working hard themselves .

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task response
State a clear view in the introduction and keep a steady plan through the essay. Add more real ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and link slow parts with linking words. Make each paragraph flow.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple, correct words and check common mistakes.
examples
Give simple examples that fit the idea, like a sport team or exam work, to show it.
idea
The essay shows a real idea about effort and how it can make a person more steady.
structure
There is a plan with two main ideas in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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