IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most significant purpose of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to enhance people's quality of
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree that
science
Use synonyms
 plays a key role in promoting 
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of humanity, especially in the fields of medicine and technology. 
Firstly
Linking Words
, developments in medicine have had a significant impact on epidemic and disease prevention
as well as
Linking Words
 reducing the death rate, particularly through vaccination and prophylaxis treatment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people are able to live longer and enjoy a higher quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 vaccine, developed five years ago when the virus had killed more than twenty
percent
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per cent
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 of the world population , played an essential role in saving millions of lives, helping isolation to end earlier and allowing individuals to return to normal
life
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.
Thus
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, increasing knowledge in
science
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along with
Linking Words
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 field benefits in saving lives and fostering healthy living environments. Another point to consider is that innovation and technology encourage global communication and make information more accessible.
For instance
Linking Words
,
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
, created from basic knowledge of radio signals and satellite,
revolutionized
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revolutionised
show examples
 communication by enabling real-time
converstations
Correct your spelling
conversations
 between people
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 by long distances.
This
Linking Words
 innovation made it much easier in the ways of receiving news and
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 with their families.
As a result
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, the purpose of developing technology and
science
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 is crucial for helping individuals to access worldwide. In conclusion, I firmly believe that expanding scientific knowledge offers considerable advantages. Because it not only enhances high standards of treatments and medicines but
also
Linking Words
 improves
an
Correct article usage
apply
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innovation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 makes individuals'
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life become
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 far easier.

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task
State a clear position in the first sentence and keep this view through the essay. In every paragraph, give one main idea with a brief reason.
coherence
Use simple, joining words to connect ideas. Try words like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore' to show reasons and results.
coherence
Each paragraph should focus on one idea. In the second paragraph, explain how tech helps life with more clear detail.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Correct mistakes like 'converstations' and 'seperated', and fix punctuation to improve flow.
strength
Clear view on the topic and keep to one side.
strength
A real attempt to give examples from medicine and technology.
strength
Essay follows a simple, recognisable structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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