IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people today use fast food restaurants for most of their meals. There are pros and cons. Give the advantages and disadvantages of fast food restaurants.

Society is very different today , especially after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 popular . Today
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
eating
Verb problem
are eating
show examples
 so
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 or unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 .
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 the fast
food
Use synonyms
 very popular
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
. The essay will examine the advantages and the disadvantages of fast
food
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
Macdonald’s
Use the right word
McDonald’s
show examples
 restaurant .
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many advantages and disadvantages
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 body I will talk about the advantages of fast
food
Use synonyms
 .
First,
Linking Words
in Gulf
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 the fast
food
Use synonyms
made
Verb problem
is made
show examples
 in less
time
Use synonyms
 and very quickly in ten minutes max. These why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
kFC
Fix capitalization
KFC
show examples
, MacDonbald’s is so popular in
Gulf
Correct article usage
the Gulf
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
,that’s why
people
Use synonyms
 like the
quick
Punctuation problem
quick,
show examples
 ready
food
Use synonyms
 . On top of that, not only less
time
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 good taste.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 less oil to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
calories and
make our
Verb problem
improve
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
better
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, many fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 good value, some good service and
smile
Correct article usage
a smile
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
. Sometimes,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer fast
food
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 because of the good service , quick
time
Use synonyms
 ,
good
Correct word choice
and good
show examples
 taste.
Finally
Linking Words
 , the fast
food
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 only unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many good
Use synonyms
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 and less oil
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 good taste
, sometimes
Punctuation problem
. Sometimes
show examples
,
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and my family
Correct word order
my family and
show examples
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
I prefer
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 because of the quick delivery .
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand ,
Linking Words
First
Fix capitalization
first
show examples
, the fast
food
Use synonyms
 had many disadvantages for human
health
Use synonyms
. If
people
Use synonyms
Verb problem
are increasing
show examples
increasing
Replace the word
increasingly
show examples
 eating fast
food
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 immune
system
Use synonyms
becomes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
deterioration. Second,
People
Use synonyms
 should reduce eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 to
become
Verb problem
strengthen
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 immune
system
Use synonyms
 better and good.
People
Use synonyms
 must stay away from fast
food
Use synonyms
 to become better .
Third,
Linking Words
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 human eats so
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
their weight
becomes increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 thing not good for
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body .
In addition
Linking Words
, maybe
some
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 if
people
Use synonyms
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 so much
food
Use synonyms
 and
chemicals
Fix the agreement mistake
chemical
show examples
Use synonyms
food
Punctuation problem
food,
show examples
 they will
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 cancer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 immune
system
Use synonyms
becomes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
deterioration , and sickness .
However
Linking Words
, if humans
still eating
Wrong verb form
continue to eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 calories
going to
Verb problem
will
show examples
 increase .
Finally
Linking Words
 ,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should manage rules to reduce the fast
food
Use synonyms
 issue in the country to reduce the weight and
also
Linking Words
 reduce the calories to have
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 society . In conclusion , I
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 not to
get more
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 weight, and to reduce eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 , so that
people
Use synonyms
 can
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 immune
system
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I advise
people
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
to have
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 body to eat two times
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week only to keep
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay. Make a short plan with an intro, two sides, and a short end.
structure
Put a clear sentence at the start of each paragraph to show the main idea.
development
Explain one idea with one or two small details. Do not add many wrong facts.
cohesion
Use simple words to link ideas, like first, also, but, and then.
grammar
Check grammar and spellings, especially with subject and verb.
content
An effort to give both sides of the issue.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Some real examples like Gulf country and well known fast food names are used.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: