IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

The preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 building taller or wider buildings in some
cities
Use synonyms
 depends on the vision and on what is being prioritised in that area or society in the future. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain why I support the latter approach and why it is the most sustainable option.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, making taller buildings might look more aesthetically pleasing and modern. Which is why it is commonly chosen in newer projects.
However
Linking Words
, going wider is not only environmentally responsible, but
also
Linking Words
 as visually appealing as horizontal
cities
Use synonyms
. A study in 2019 showed that the most visited destinations are the European capitals
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 Amsterdam and Paris. Which are considered to be larger, not taller
cities
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, tourists from all over the world visit these beloved
cities
Use synonyms
 for their beauty.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, towns with the most space of land have better distribution of sunlight, which is necessary for both the environment and the mental well-being of the population. A study that was conducted in the United Kingdom in 2021 showed higher depression rates in areas that lack consistent sun exposure and during months with minimum daylight as well.
This
Linking Words
 proves that the decrease or the inconsistent distribution of natural light can significantly impact the quality of life among the population.
To conclude
Linking Words
, choosing to create a wide town with shorter houses and buildings is the obvious and better strategy for the aesthetic and visual appeal, the environmental reasons, the higher quality of life and the mental well-being of its population.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a clear idea that you will argue for the wider city. Make a plan of 3 blocks: idea, example, result.
coherence
Use clear links to move from one idea to next. Words like 'first', 'also', 'so' help
evidence/accuracy
Be careful with fact that are not real or exact. Say facts as true and simple that you can prove.
grammar
Fix small grammar by reading aloud. Short and clean sentences are best.
content
The writer states a clear view and gives reasons.
structure
Good use of linking words like 'To begin with' and 'To conclude'.
content
Some examples from studies show real world links.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
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