IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Hard
work
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
. Some individuals argued that
Use synonyms
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
is depend
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on two factors that are hard
work
Use synonyms
 and determination,
while
Linking Words
 some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that a good
personality
Use synonyms
 with money
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plays a vital role. I am going to
elobrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 both views before giving
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opinion. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and foremost idea is that hard
work
Use synonyms
 is key to
get
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
 any goal. To explain,
when ever
Use the right word
whenever
show examples
 folks or students
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 down to dusk for their
goal
Punctuation problem
goal,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will surely get
Use synonyms
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 in their life,
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
along with
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 need determination and focus on their target.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after getting a goal in their
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 they can earn
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
show examples
 income so they can enjoy recreational activities with their family.
For example
Linking Words
, A student has to do hard
work
Use synonyms
 in their study to get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 score so they can
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 a course which will lead to their achievement. On the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 a
good looking
Use the right word
good-looking
show examples
personality
Use synonyms
 is crucial to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 because if a person has a handsome or cute
then
Linking Words
 he or she can
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their career in movies
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they can get
name
Correct article usage
a name
show examples
 and fame in
fornight
Check wording
the forefront
show examples
,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 they will get limelight from
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
news
Punctuation problem
news,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they can earn more and more money. After pondering a great
deals
Fix the agreement mistake
deal
show examples
 of
thoughts
Punctuation problem
thoughts,
show examples
 I would like
to conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay that hard
work
Use synonyms
 and a
Use synonyms
personality
Correct word choice
good personality
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more important to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
Use synonyms
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 because a good
personality
Use synonyms
 gives a
confidence
Check wording
person confidence
show examples
 to a person and hard
work
Use synonyms
 helps them to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 their target.

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grammar
Fix spelling and word form. Use common words.
structure
Make a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep one main idea per paragraph.
content
Balance the two views with equal detail and more close link to the question.
content
Add more specific examples or facts to back ideas.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas connect (for example, 'and', 'but', 'however').
grammar
Check subject-verb and article use; keep sentences simple and correct.
structure
Shows plan to discuss both views and then give own view.
content
Attempts to give example in a few places.
content
Own view is stated in the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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