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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people sleep less than in the past. Why is this happening? What are the consequences for individuals and society?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is insufficient sleep among individuals. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the factors responsible for insufficient sleep and consider its potential consequences for both individuals and society as a whole. One of the main causes of insufficient sleep is
sleep
Correct article usage
a sleep
show examples
 disorder. It is a result of persistent affairs or circumstances. The second cause that might be noted, in my view, is noise pollution. The first cause mentioned above has led to a growing number of individuals suffering from chronic fatigue and reduced productivity. That all provoked serious health complications,
such
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 as stress and cardiovascular diseases, and contributed to a general decline in psychological well-being. Another problem that follows is that insufficient sleep undermines concentration, which negatively affects both academic performance and workplace efficiency. One of the consequences of
this
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 is a higher risk of accidents, particularly among drivers and night-shift workers,
due to
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 decreased alertness. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply
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, we can come to a conclusion that insufficient sleep is a multidimensional issue with both health-related and social implications. So it would not be surprising to see some governments introducing awareness campaigns on sleep hygiene in the near future.
In other words
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, without effective intervention, the prevalence of sleep disorders might increase, and societies should be ready to bear all the consequences of that.

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task response
Make your answer clearer. State the plan: causes, effects, and a short idea of what can be done. Then end with a view.
coherence
Use clear links to show steps. Use First, Then, Also, Finally to guide the reader.
task response
Give one or two simple examples for the effects. This will make your point stronger.
grammar
Keep grammar simple. Use present tense for facts and past tense only when you talk about a past action.
lexical resource
Choose safe words. If you mean not sleeping well, say that. Do not use 'sleep disorder' unless you mean a disease.
writing style
Break long sentences. Shorter lines help the reader follow your idea.
structure
Clear idea on the topic is shown.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
structure
Some linking words help show ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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