IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, more and more
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people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 especially
youngsters
Punctuation problem
youngsters,
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 try to keep up their styles with
fashion
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trends
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. There are some reasons behind
this
Linking Words
and
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, and
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 I believe it can be perceived as a negative
trend
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. Let us start with two main reasons which are behind
people
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's growing inclination to follow
fashion
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trends
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. For one, media and celebrities play a significant role in the expansion of
this
Linking Words
trend
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Punctuation problem
say,
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Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 especially
youngsters
Punctuation problem
youngsters,
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 tend to imitate the
style
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 of celebrities. When
the
Use the right word
they
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 change their styles regularly, naturally those who follow them would alter their
style
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. For another, the growth of
this
Linking Words
trend
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coincide
Correct subject-verb agreement
coincides
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 with
globalization
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globalisation
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 and marketing. Today,
people
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 from different parts of the
word
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world
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 have access to a wide range of clothes and garments. Many brands
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
Addidas
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Adidas
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 and
Zara
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Zara,
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 have representatives in almost all countries and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means easy access to
more
Correct word choice
a greater
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 variety.
Also
Linking Words
, the improvement of delivery infrastructures worldwide has accelerated
this
Linking Words
trend
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, with the help of media and
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
show examples
,
following
Correct article usage
the following
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fashion
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trends
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 have easily become accessible.
However
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
trend
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 can be perceived as a completely negative
trend
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 in two ways.
First,
Linking Words
it
evident
Verb problem
is evident
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 that
people
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’s growing inclination to
fashion
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 can intensify
consumerism
Correct article usage
the consumerism
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 phenomenon.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
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 when
people
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 try to keep up with
fashion
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trends
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, the rate of consumption would conform
with
Change preposition
to
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speed
Correct article usage
the speed
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 of
fashion
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 changes. Given the high rate of changes in
fashion
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 and
simultaneous
Correct article usage
the simultaneous
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 existence of multiple
trends
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, it can be expected to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face with growing consumerism phenomenon.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
fashion
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 turned into
a
Correct article usage
an
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 international language as
people
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 from different cultural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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 try to follow it. The way
people
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 choose their
style
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,
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apply
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 speaks
volume
Fix the agreement mistake
volumes
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 about their personality and identity. If they follow
fashion
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trends
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 to become similar to others in different parts of the world, they regularly would put off parts of their own culture which represent their international identity.
As a result
Linking Words
, after a
while
Linking Words
, they leave their culture behind.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
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exert
Correct subject-verb agreement
exerts
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 financial pressure on
people
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in particular
Linking Words
, teenagers and their parents.
In other words
Linking Words
, those who try to match different
color
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colours
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 and
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style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
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 based on
fashion
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Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 have to spend a huge amount of money on different items.
To sum up
Linking Words
, global
fashion
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trends
Use synonyms
 have negatively overshadowed different aspects of individuals, culturally, financially and more importantly, have intensified
consumerism
Correct article usage
the consumerism
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 phenomenon.
This
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 happened because of
highlight
Replace the word
the high
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 presence of media and market
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
show examples
.

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content
Make a full answer to both questions in the prompt: how fashion grows in life and if this is good or bad.
structure
Use clear link and group ideas with making sections for causes, effects, and a short view on good or bad.
linguistic
Fix grammar and spelling and use simple, short sentences. For example, change 'world' spelling and 'Addidas' to 'Adidas'.
language
Keep to simple words, avoid long phrases. Use short sentences to show clear idea.
content
Add more real examples that show why fashion can be positive or negative.
stance
Your stance is clear: you say the trend is negative.
ideas
You show some main ideas like money and culture.
structure
You give a conclusion at the end.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global
  • fashion
  • clothes
  • dress
  • wear
  • look
  • style
  • brand
  • label
  • shop
  • price
  • money
  • media
  • ads
  • post
  • like
  • world
  • culture
  • express
  • expression
  • culture
  • work
  • jobs
  • earth
  • environment
  • press
  • pressure
  • spend
  • buy
  • design
  • trend
  • brand
  • celeb
  • celebrity
  • internet
  • online
  • shop
  • social
  • media
  • fashion
  • trend
  • idea
  • choice
  • fit
  • color
  • color
  • cloth
  • fabric
  • hand
  • care
  • harm
  • good
  • bad
  • benefit
  • loss
  • balance
  • relation
  • impact
  • effect
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