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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the average number of hours per week that men and women spend doing activities around the home.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the average number of hours per week that men and women spend doing activities around the home.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph compares the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per week spent doing activities around the home by males and females.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that most household chores, including cooking, cleaning the house, and washing up, are done by
women
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other activities,
such
Linking Words
 as gardening, surfing the internet and watching television, are done by
men
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, in terms of spending
time
Use synonyms
 in the kitchen is common for females to use 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per week,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spend only 8
hours
Use synonyms
. When it comes to cleaning the house,
men
Use synonyms
 spend much less
time
Use synonyms
 than
women
Use synonyms
, with 3 and 5
hours
Use synonyms
, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, to wash up,
men
Use synonyms
 devote 5
hours
Use synonyms
, and
women
Use synonyms
 use a little more
time
Use synonyms
 on it, around 7
hours
Use synonyms
. He and she allocate about the same
time
Use synonyms
 for reading, with 5 and 5,5
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Men
Use synonyms
 are active for entertainment things like watching TV and surfing the web with about 14 and 13
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 dedicate 11 and 4
hours
Use synonyms
, in that order. In the case of gardening, both of them use a small amount of
time
Use synonyms
, with 2 and 1
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, women, men, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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