IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in need. Others however prefer to give money to national and international charitable organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is no denying that helping poor
people
Use synonyms
 brings lots of good feelings to the helper.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to directly support those in need, others tend to give
money
Use synonyms
 to international charitable organisations.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. Directly supporting those in need gives an individual 100% assurance of where and to whom his
money
Use synonyms
 is going.
In other words
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, some individuals are not sure how their
money
Use synonyms
 will be spent when they
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 to an international foundation.
Therefore
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, to avoid any kind of suspicion, they would rather hand their
money
Use synonyms
 to the needy
people
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, face-to-face connection with the needy brings a completely different experience.
For example
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, when a
person
Use synonyms
 helps another
person
Use synonyms
 directly, they are more likely to create a strong relationship with them,
besides
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 knowing their basic needs, so they can help them more efficiently.
On the other hand
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, the
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to give
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charitable organisations help in delivering
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 to many families. It is
also
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 possible to say that they contribute to participating in a large community, which leads to helping a significant number of poor
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
such
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 an approach is perfectly suitable for busy workers.
For instance
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, if a busy
person
Use synonyms
 can not allocate time to look for the needy, but still wants to help,
then
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 a charity organisation is the best place to do it on their behalf. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that a mix is best. I would donate to well-run charities and
also
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 help locally when I can.
People
Use synonyms
 should think about
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
, check how
charity
Correct article usage
the charity
show examples
 spends
money
Use synonyms
, and give regularly
instead
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 of only once.

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Task
Plan your answer with two or three key ideas. State your view at the end.
Flow
Use linking words to connect ideas, and keep sentences short so the flow stays clear.
Examples
Add a real but simple example for each idea.
Conclusion
End with a strong closing that restates your view.
Content
You cover both sides and give your own view.
Structure
There are good links like 'On the other hand' and 'For instance'.
Strength
Clear form: intro, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • help
  • give
  • money
  • people
  • time
  • skill
  • work
  • good
  • bad
  • quick
  • slow
  • local
  • world
  • country
  • area
  • need
  • aid
  • support
  • care
  • share
  • plan
  • idea
  • view
  • think
  • feel
  • explain
  • effect
  • result
  • impact
  • improve
  • solve
  • problem
  • charity
  • organization
  • group
  • project
  • rule
  • trust
  • open
  • honest
  • clear
  • safe
  • future
  • today
  • when
  • donate
  • donation
  • condition
  • long
  • short
  • locality
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