Today many children are overweight and unhealthy. This is a serious problem. Give the reasons for this and give solutions to help this problem.

The world has greatly changed from the past, especially
how
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in how
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children
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live.
Children
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today are overweight and very unhealthy.
This
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is a serious
problem
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.
This
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essay will examine what are the reasons for
this
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problem
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and provide solutions to solve it. On the one hand , there are many reasons for
children
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being overweight. First ,
children
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today are eating unhealthy
food
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.
For
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example
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, they are eating fast
food
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for almost every meal .
Also
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, the unhealthy
food
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can cause them more problems with their health. Second, the big
problem
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with them is that they don’t do any sports . The parents have to take their
children
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to the gym to be healthy and fit . To support them, the school has to teach them how to exercise properly .
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,
children
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are not getting enough sleep.
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example
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, the body needs about 8 to 10 hours to recover .
In addition
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, when the
children
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sleep early, their metabolism is more efficient.
On the other hand
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, there are many solutions to solve
this
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problem
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. First , eating healthy
food
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is important .
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example
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, they should be eating more fruits and vegetables .
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, fast
food
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should be eliminated from their diet. Second , the parents must be role models.
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example
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, parents should encourage sports.
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, the schools could do more activities to help them .
Finally
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,
children
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need to increase their sleep . To explain it ,
children
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have a weak body. Increased sleep makes them healthier by conserving energy.
Furthermore
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, sleeping helps them focus and be more alert. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are many reasons why
children
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are overweight.
However
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, there are many solutions to solve
this
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problem
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.

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task response
Task response: The essay talks about why kids are fat and gives some fixes, but it needs more depth.
coherence
Coherence: Have a clear plan. Use an intro, 3 main ideas, and a short end. Use linking words to move from one idea to the next. Watch spelling and marks.
structure
The essay has an intro and a conclusion.
organization
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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