IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write a letter to your friend to describe your present life. In your letter, say: when you have moved to this country why you chose this country how things are now for you

Dear simar Hello. I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing a letter to tell you about my new lifestyle in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 territory. You know, I have moved from India to Canada before six months. The reason why I migrated from my own region is that I want to secure my future with the bright colours. As you are well aware, in
Canada
Punctuation problem
Canada,
show examples
 I can get more opportunities towards my career growth.
However
Linking Words
, I tried many times in India to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 government job , gave many government exams
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 I failed to achieve
so that's
Change preposition
That's
show examples
 why I modified my career path
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I decided to start with the study by Canadian education
system
Punctuation problem
system,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 get a good job
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 I can earn
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better income. At
first,
Linking Words
it was very difficult for me to engage myself in
this
Linking Words
 country as different time zones, weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, dietary changes, sleeping patterns
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
 feel so lonely. But
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
present-day
Use the right word
present day
show examples
, I feel happy I have adapted
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 culture
as well as
Linking Words
 I have become accustomed to the weather and food , try to make new friends. Maybe next year, I will come and meet you definitely. Take care. Thanks and regards, Shabnam

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task response
Make sure you answer all parts clearly. Add the date of move and a clear reason for choosing the country, and say how life is now in simple lines.
coherence cohesion
Put ideas in clean order. Use simple link words like First, Then, Now, Also to connect ideas.
content
You talk about all three parts of the task.
tone
The tone is warm and friendly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • culture shock
  • adjustment
  • adventure
  • language barrier
  • bureaucracy
  • immigration process
  • exciting
  • challenging
  • networking
  • international community
  • integration
  • support system
  • job prospects
  • standard of living
  • multicultural
  • diverse
  • satisfying
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