Many movies and video games contain scenes of violence. Some people believe that they should be banned, while others think they are harmless or even help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
movies
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and
video
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games
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contain
scenes
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of
violence
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. Some
people
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believe that they should be banned,
while
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others
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think they are harmless or even help
people
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to relax. Discuss both views and give your opinion. In today’s world,
movies
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and
video
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games
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have developed a wide range of genres
such
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as comedy, romance and even action. There are some debates about
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violence
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violent
show examples
scenes
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that regularly appear in some
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies
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and
video
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games
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. Many argue that
such
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content should be banned
due to
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its negative influence.
On the other hand
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,
others
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believe it is harmless and even provides a form of entertainment. I believe both have their own strong arguments. Some
people
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believe that
by
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apply
show examples
watching
movies
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or playing
video
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games
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that contain
violence
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may impact their attitudes.
This
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belief led to an expectation to ban everything that contains
violence
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. In some murder
cases
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cases,
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the desire to kill may arise
as a result
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of exposure to violent films. That's why some
people
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are really against films and
video
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games
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that contain excessive amounts of
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violence
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violent
show examples
scenes
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, simply because it motivates some
people
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to do what they see in
movies
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or
video
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games
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.
In contrast
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, some
others
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believe watching
movies
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or playing
video
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games
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containing
violence
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may help them to feel relaxed in their free time.
This
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happens
as a result
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of some times
people
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are imagining
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imagine
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how a killer thinks because usually
people
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only know a criminal from the news.
Moreover
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,
with
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apply
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the existence of films and
video
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games
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that have violent
scenes
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can satisfy those
people
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's curiosity. As long as
people
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take it as a relaxation facility
no
Punctuation problem
, no
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real harm is likely to occur. In conclusion,
while
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violent content in
movies
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and
video
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games
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may encourage aggressive attitudes in certain individuals, it can
also
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act as a harmless form of relaxation for
others
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. In my view,
instead
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of a complete ban, strict age restrictions and content warnings would be a more balanced solution.

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content
Give more clear examples for both sides to back up your ideas.
coherence
Use more simple link words to show how ideas go from one part to the next.
grammar
Fix grammar and make short, clear sentences.
position
Your view is clear in the end.
structure
You use good sign words like in contrast and on the other hand.
relevance
The ideas stay on the topic and wanted task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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