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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK university in 1987 and in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK university in 1987 and in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the top 5
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most important factors when choosing
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 in the UK. The suitable
degree
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courses
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, close to parental home and
quality
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 of teaching elements influenced students’ decisions more over the given
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 good activities and
quality
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 of
resources
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Use synonyms
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 impacted less over the
period
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.
The suitable
Correct determiner usage
Suitable
show examples
degree
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courses
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 remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most important component when choosing
UK
Correct article usage
a UK
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 between 1987 and 2007. At the beginning of the given
period
Use synonyms
,
degree
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courses
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest primary
factor
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 influenced at 35%, followed by
quality
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 of
resources
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 and
quality
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 of teaching at 21% and 19%, respectively. The
percentage
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 increased slightly over a
2-decades
Replace the word
2-decade
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period
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 by 2% to 37% in 2007, still remained as the most crucial aspect when choosing college.
Quality
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 of
resources
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factor
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percentage
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 decreased by 4% to 17%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by the end of the
period
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, twice as low as
Use synonyms
degree
Correct article usage
the degree
show examples
factor
Use synonyms
 at the same time.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
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quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of teaching
factor
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 increased a little by 3%, slightly higher than
resources
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. In 1987,
close
Verb problem
living close
show examples
 to
parental
Correct article usage
the parental
show examples
 home was considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the least important element when choosing
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 at 10%.
This
Linking Words
percentage
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 rocketed over the given
period
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 to 22% in 2007, twice
as
Rephrase
as much as
show examples
 it was in 1987,
Linking Words
therefore
Correct word choice
and therefore
show examples
 became the 2nd most important
factor
Use synonyms
 when choosing
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 in the UK
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that year. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
 activities component element recorded a
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 19%. It declined drastically to 6%, almost 4 times lower and was the least important
factor
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 in 2007, 6 times lower than
degree
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courses
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, as known as the most important
factor
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.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words university, degree, courses, quality, period, resources, factor, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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