IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

TASK2 :School should focus on teaching students how to be successful in the workforce and less helping them achieve academic success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate among people whether educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 should
pay attention
Verb problem
focus
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 on life skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the workplaces
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workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
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 or support
to
Check wording
students to
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 improve their academic subjects to students. I believe it should strike a balance. If educational institutions help to develop both theoretical knowledge and essential skills, students achieve success fully. On the one hand, educating how to be successful in
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a vital role in
peoples’
Check wording
people’s
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. It helps to develop their necessary skills
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 mental health
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 have
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 relationship.
First,
Linking Words
it enhances their
problem solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
India
Punctuation problem
India,
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 there are many people who
suffer
Verb problem
struggle
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with making
Change preposition
to make
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 serious decisions in difficult conditions,
affects
Correct pronoun usage
which affects
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 to achieve
too
Rephrase
apply
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success
badly
Rephrase
apply
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 built
creating
Verb problem
apply
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new things
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 made the working atmosphere easy and convenient.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 competitive
world
Add a comma
world,
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 the reliance
for
Change preposition
on
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 intelligent people is high. It plays
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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.
Initially
Linking Words
, they can easily create inventions using useful knowledge
which are
Verb problem
that they have
show examples
 learned from schools and universities. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools should teach not only how to be successful in workplaces, but
also
Linking Words
 achieve academic success. Both of them play
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future,
help working
Wrong verb form
helping to work
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 efficiently.

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task
Make a clear plan before you write. State your view in a simple line in the introduction and stick to it.
coherence
Add a clear link between ideas. Use simple linking words like also, but, therefore, and in addition.
content
Give more strong examples and explain them. The India example is not clear. Use a simple, real example and explain it briefly.
structure
The essay shows a balanced view and tries to talk about both sides.
content
There is an attempt to give some example and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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