IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Alot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately tourism can also be source of problems. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism.

Nowadays
tourism
Use synonyms
 generates a significant proportion of
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 economy for many
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of
tourism
Use synonyms
 in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the predominant one is that it helps to boost
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of the country. To
eleborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
, when tourist exchange their currency
regime
Punctuation problem
, regime
show examples
take
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 taxes on exchange
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 tax is very beneficial for
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
show examples
 growth.
In addition
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, the increasing population of visitors
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also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 a good opportunity for locals to open their small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and provide employment.
Moreover
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,
pilgrim
Fix the agreement mistake
pilgrims
show examples
also
Linking Words
 spread the culture all over the world.
Hence
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, travellers are the main source to improve
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
show examples
 economy.
However
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, there are some negative aspects
also
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 which cannot be overlooked. To start with,
Correct article usage
the
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destruction of
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
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 tourist destination is a major drawback. To explain, visitors throw garbage anywhere
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is not good for
Correct article usage
the enviornment
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Sometime
Use the right word
Sometimes
show examples
this
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 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 biggest problem for locals because of garbage masses face
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of issues like
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 pipeline is blocked.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2023
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
' The Hindustan Times' revealed that in Kullu
Manali
Punctuation problem
Manali,
show examples
 the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
flood
Correct article usage
the flood
show examples
 was
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 pipelines were blocked because of garbage.
Moreover
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, another drawback is increasing pollution day by day
locals
Punctuation problem
. Locals
show examples
 provide vehicle
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 in large numbers to visitors
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
also
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 traffic jams.
Thus
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, these are the justifiable drawbacks to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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,
although
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tourism
Use synonyms
 has a lot of advantages but the disadvantages cannot be ignored

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language
Many words are wrong or misspelled. Use simple words and fix spellings.
structure
Make the plan clear: intro, body on pros, body on cons, then a short end. Link ideas well.
content
Give clear examples and explain how they affect people and place.
vocabulary
Stick to common words. Avoid long or hard phrases.
structure
There is a clear plan with intro, two body parts, and a close.
content
The essay shows both sides of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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