IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that the government sould spend more money on puplic service rather than wasthing money on the arts. to what extend do you agree

Society is very different today, especially after the public use. The
government
Use synonyms
 should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on public services.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 human thinks the rule is wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on the arts. The essay will examine my opinion about public
service
Use synonyms
 if
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree or disagree.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the one hand,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will talk in
this
Linking Words
 body about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 public
service
Use synonyms
. The public
service
Use synonyms
 is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
essential in
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
First,
Linking Words
the public
service
Use synonyms
 made society life better, and
also
Linking Words
 healthier.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 can visit any
place
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a good price,
also
Linking Words
 without an appointment. Health care
service
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public services.
In addition
Linking Words
, the open
servise
Correct your spelling
service
 same
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 gardens, museums, outdoor activities,
ground
Correct word choice
and ground
show examples
 plays, making
people
Use synonyms
 happy.
Finally
Linking Words
, most visitors
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
 than. 50 per cent of the real price.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I will talk in
this
Linking Words
 body why sometimes
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 public
service
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
some places in Kuwait country having i long
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 and
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
 very
crowding
Correct word choice
crowded
show examples
, on
Punctuation problem
. On
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of
this
Linking Words
 information,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can't book
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 appointment for the activities.
However
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 places
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 worker didn't clean the public
place
Use synonyms
 or the
Use synonyms
people visit
Correct word order
place people visit
show examples
place
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 the
place
Use synonyms
its not
Use the right word
isn't
show examples
 cleaned carefully leads to
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of germs.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 will
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 but the
government
Use synonyms
 will
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and will
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less cash .
Finally
Linking Words
, I agree with the public
service
Use synonyms
 to
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the society better and In conclusion, I advise the
government
Use synonyms
 to make rules to reduce the crowding in the popular places ,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 make a website to book an appointment. I advise the
government
Use synonyms
 to increase the time of the activities.

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grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Fix big word jumps and grammar mistakes.
structure
Say your view clearly in the first paragraph and stay with that view in the essay.
content
Stick to ideas about public spending and how it can help people. Give one or two easy examples that are related.
content
The essay tries to show both sides.
cohesion
There is a clear 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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