IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"Many people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prefer to learning a lot of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 with their
Use synonyms
plan
Replace the word
planned
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 study. I think many students
are
Verb problem
apply
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disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 opinion, because they have to get the qualification and jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend Khalid
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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studied the law field and after that
he
Punctuation problem
, he
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 got a great job in
facility
Check wording
apply
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of finance
Check wording
field, from
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, from
Punctuation problem
. From
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 my
perspiration
Punctuation problem
perspiration,
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 I prefer to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 in one method to get a good experience and
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
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 my skills, like time management or discipline. In my
experiment
Add a comma
experiment,
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 I thought it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 so easy to
composition
Replace the word
compose
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 a reputation in our faculty
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 that was very hard
to
Change preposition
for
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 me
, to
Punctuation problem
. To
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composition
Replace the word
compose
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 that kind of reputation
you
Punctuation problem
, you
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 have to
proof
Replace the word
prove
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 yourself when you
in
Verb problem
are in
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 your class
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as
,
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apply
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register
Wrong verb form
registering
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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note
Fix the agreement mistake
notes
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 with your tutor,
concentration
Replace the word
concentrating
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with
Change preposition
on
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lecture
Correct article usage
the lecture
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.
don’t
Fix capitalization
Don’t
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 memorable to take a remarks in your lesson. The priority is your subject
not
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, not
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 anything else
,
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;
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 you can get
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 things
but
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, but
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 the considerable it is your
plan
Use synonyms
 that
gave
Wrong verb form
was given
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 to you
from
Change preposition
by
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 your teacher. The majority had
take
Wrong verb form
taken
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this
Linking Words
 way and now
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 are very unique in their community.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 the first regulation is the commitment
in
Change preposition
to
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 your study, your
plan
Use synonyms
nothing
Punctuation problem
, nothing
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 else
,
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;
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instead
Linking Words
 second
plan
Use synonyms
like
Verb problem
is like
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 other
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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. In conclusion, I would
to
Verb problem
apply
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say I
am
Verb problem
apply
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agree with the first opinion,
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 can
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 anything
but
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, but
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 I think when you keep your mind
in
Change preposition
on
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 your mission with constant shape and focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your
lessons
Punctuation problem
lessons,
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 you will
victory
Verb problem
achieve victory
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, many
Punctuation problem
. Many
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 cases follow
this
Linking Words
 road
and
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, and
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 all
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
 now they enjoy
with
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apply
show examples
a great life."

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task response
Explain both sides more with clear, simple lines and give one strong view for why you choose. Start with a short intro that state the task. End with a clear opinion.
coherence
Make the text in clear blocks: intro, two or three body parts, and a short conclusion. Use simple link words to show how ideas go together (also, but, then, so).
task response
The essay shows a plan and ends with a personal view.
coherence
There is a real attempt to speak about both sides and to give an example from life.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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