IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Under British and Australian laws, a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant’s past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

The obvious aim was to disclose the activity of the G protein αq subunit. Researchers did
this
Linking Words
 by mixing its purified form with AlF4-, effectively switching it on. The text
further
Linking Words
 notes that “Assays contained αq (18ng) +/- AlF4- and all reactions contained (18ng) of PI-PLC”. Noteworthy, the findings were represented
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 experiments with various
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of preparations.
Beside to
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 the aqueous phase was removed and measured by scintillation spectrometry. Indeed, other methods
such
Linking Words
 as Boling, trypsin,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
NEM, and antibodies
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 have played
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 part
to disclose
Change preposition
in disclosing
show examples
 the presence of αq’s proteins.

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task response
State a clear view in the intro. Put a plan and end with a short close.
coherence
Make each idea a new paragraph. Use link words like First, Also, Then, So.
grammar
Fix wrong words and misspells. Check 'Beside to this' -> 'Besides this' and fix 'Boling'.
content
Use exact facts as proof, like numbers and steps, but keep to one main topic.
data
There are some exact numbers given, showing data.
topic quality
The topic seems close to a real lab report, so it has clear need for facts.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • impartiality
  • preconceived notions
  • integrity
  • guilt by association
  • relevance
  • contextual understanding
  • bias
  • distraction
  • evidence-based judgment
  • criminal record
  • fair trial
  • jury deliberation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: