IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try an improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some of the people choose to accept the bad
situaton
Correct your spelling
situation
 because
.they
Correct your spelling
they
 have an optimistic attitude and their
altitude
Use the right word
attitude
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
helps
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 solve their problems when they face the bad
situtions
Correct your spelling
situations
 at that time
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 a series of plans
before it
Use the right word
beforehand
show examples
, so they will have less annoyance.
For
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 one of the bad
situations
Use synonyms
 is that shortage of
money
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, the reason that they might
use
Use synonyms
 all the
money
Use synonyms
 rather than save a
part
Use synonyms
 of it since they want to enjoy the present moment to do whatever they want
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as eat delicious food , buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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luxury goods or even watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concerts. After they enjoy the moment, they will feel delighted rather
thinking
Change preposition
than thinking
show examples
 of other drawbacks of using all the
money
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. For some people who will try an improve
such
Linking Words
situations
Use synonyms
, they will plan ahead before facing the bad
situations
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 and become more cautious
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 everything. When they face different types of bad
situations
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, they will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plenty of plans to deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Using the above
situations
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
include
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shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of
money
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, those
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 who will save a
part
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 and
use
Use synonyms
 another
part
Use synonyms
 for enjoying. When some bad
situations
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 like their
famiily
Correct your spelling
family
 have an emergency that requires
money
Use synonyms
 , they can
use
Use synonyms
 the saved one in order to help them. In my opinion, I prefer
Verb problem
to
show examples
try
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
 improve
such
Linking Words
situations
Use synonyms
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 I can respond to emergencies and
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
 hardship. Apart from that, using the above example which is
save
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
money
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. I will
use
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 a
part
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
money
Correct article usage
the money
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 to do some investment so that I can
accumlate
Correct your spelling
accumulate
 wealth
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 can
use
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those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to travel the world in
attempt
Correct article usage
an attempt
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 to broaden my horizons. I think having
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 optimistic attitude is
also
Linking Words
 a good idea
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it will have a risk that if
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 all my
money
Use synonyms
 to enjoy the time, maybe
just
Rephrase
apply
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suddenly I need
money
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 for
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
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, at that time it
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 useless for me to go and make
money
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Make one paragraph for each view and a short one for your own view at the end.
language
Use short, clear sentences. Check spelling and fix easy mistakes.
structure
Add a clear opening line and a closing line to guide the reader.
examples
Give more simple examples that fit the point you make.
content
You show both sides of the idea and give your own view.
content
You use a real life example about saving money.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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