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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents willl be better carers for their kids. Discuss bot views and gave your opinion.

There is debate over where is a better place for
children
Use synonyms
home
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 or
childcare
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. If parents leave them at
home
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 with their
granparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
, it will be useful in some cases
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, kindergarten centres may affect
children
Use synonyms
's mental development. Nowadays, both parents work at the same time, so they must leave their kids at
home
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 or at
childcare
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 centres. And they believe it will be better for them at
home
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. Growing up under the care of grandparents helps
children
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 develop respect for cultural values, kindness, and life experience from an early age. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 they are more related to loving their grandchildren
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it awakens kind feelings in youngsters , both to the traditions and people. Especially, since grandparents
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 longer and have a good experience, it can be easy to teach it to the kids.
Therefore
Linking Words
, even if other relatives take care of them, it may
also
Linking Words
bealso
Correct your spelling
be
 beneficial to feel more comfortable with a person they have known for a long
.
Check wording
time.
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 Another important option is
childcare
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 centres, where youngsters spend their time with a teacher. It is
also
Linking Words
 a place where
children
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 will be educated in different subjects. Unlike being under the control of family members, they will be with people of the same age
with
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as
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 them. They spend their time with fun by playing or studying, especially it impact
to
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on
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 their skills at working in a team.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by being far away from their parents, they will be prepared for future life and improve their independence. In conclusion, being controlled by family members can cause
children
Use synonyms
 to feel more comfortable as they have known them since their birth , and it
also
Linking Words
 creates a love for national traditions.
However
Linking Words
, special
childcare
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 areas are the main factor for growing confidence and independence , which they need in the future.

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structure
Organize with a clear plan. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a link to the task.
task
State your view clearly in the start and restate it in the end.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Check for grammar and punctuation so the writing is easy to read.
content
Add examples or facts to show why grandparents or centers can help the child.
content
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
structure
The idea that centers help teamwork and skills is clear.
content
The point about tradition and love from grandparents is easy to see.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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