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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph shows the number of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of adolescents in the UK
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 from 1960 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of vegetarians was
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in 1980,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was in 1960. In 1960, none of
teenagers
Correct article usage
the teenagers
show examples
 were interested in
vegetarian
Replace the word
vegetarianism
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, more and more of them tried to follow
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet
becoming
Punctuation problem
, becoming
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 10 years later, it was recorded that around 5% of them decided to become
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
follower
Fix the agreement mistake
followers
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 healthy diet increased to approximately 10%,
then
Linking Words
 dramatically
climbing
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
, reaching a peak
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 over 15% in 1980. From
this
Linking Words
 year, the
figured
Replace the word
figure
show examples
 started declining to over 6% in 1990. By 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 of the UK's adolescents who were vegetarian
recorded
Verb problem
had
show examples
 back to 5%,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 gradually went up, after experiencing a fluctuation trend.
This
Linking Words
 trend kept rising by over 10% in 2010. After a decade,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable. The percentage was lower by about 5% than in the
1980's
Check wording
1980s
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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