IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that students should study subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Others think it is more important for students to study a wide range of subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that many
students
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 think that they should focus on
subjects
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 that are significant for their future career.
While
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 others think that studying a different subject is important, if they do not learn some kinds of
subjects
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, it may be more difficult for their future to find high-salaried jobs. On the one hand, supporters of
this
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 view argue that focusing only on career-related
subjects
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 ,
students
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 have more opportunities after graduation and
also
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 saves time and money
such
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 For engineering
students
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 who pay attention only to physics and math can become engineers faster an engineer. Employers often look
specialised
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for specialised
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 skills for
this
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 job.
On the other hand
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, there are those who believe that studying a different subject is important to encourage creativity and critical thinking ,
as well as
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 discover hidden interests or talents
,
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. For
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for instance
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, Elon Musk learnt astronomy and later created a new research company named NASSA , and
also
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this
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 company explored the deepest places ocean.
To sum up
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,
while
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 some people believe
students
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 should only focus on career-related
subjects
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, others think studying a wide range of
subjects
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 is more helpful. I reckon,
students
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 should balance
subjects
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however
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; however
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, different
subjects
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 help
students
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 think creatively and
also
Linking Words
 show them how life is difficult.

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grammar
Fix grammar and use short, clear sentences. Check noun and edge words.
structure
Make a clear plan: one idea per paragraph with a simple start and end.
accuracy
Use correct facts in examples and keep them simple and true.
content
The writer tries to show both sides and share a view.
coherence
The use of 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' helps show links.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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