The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided table illustrates the
workforce
Use synonyms
distribution of male and female
workers
Use synonyms
across six different sectors in New Zealand over a decade, between 1993 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveals significant shifts in employment trends for both genders. A detailed comparison of the 1993 and 2003 data shows that the most notable increases occurred in the business sector, where the
number
Use synonyms
of female
workers
Use synonyms
surged by 21% (from 1% to 22%) and male
workers
Use synonyms
by 18% (from 7% to 25%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all three sectors—business, building, and social services—saw an increasing trend in employee numbers for both genders. The only exception was a 2% drop in male construction
workers
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, a dramatic decrease in the
workforce
Use synonyms
occurred in agriculture, with the male
workforce
Use synonyms
plunging by 30% (from 38% to 8%),
while
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
of female
workers
Use synonyms
fell slightly by 2% (from 8% to 6%). In the services sector,
while
Linking Words
the female
workforce
Use synonyms
remained high at 53% in 1993 and 36% in 2003, it experienced a 17% decrease. At the same time, the male
workforce
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
sector saw a slight increase of 9% (from 22% to 31%).
Lastly
Linking Words
, in manufacturing, the
number
Use synonyms
of male
workers
Use synonyms
had a negligible growth of just 1%,
whereas
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
of female
workers
Use synonyms
dropped by half, from 25% in 1993 to 12% in 2003.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, workers, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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