IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should spend money on developing public transportation systems, while others think that improving roads and highways is more important.

There is no doubt that many residents think crucial to improve the mass transit. Others' opinion that enhances the
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways for the reason that the government should focus on updating different
roads
Use synonyms
 for
cars
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as well as
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 public
transport
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the more comfortable side for individuals and
also
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 how public transit is significant for inhabitants. On the one hand, the authorities should pay attention to public
transport
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owning
Replace the word
ownership
show examples
 as it is to encourage the environment.
In addition
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, there are plenty of
cars
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 that inhabitants use the car for go fast their work so as not to be late to their job.
However
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, the fuel
cars
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 reduce air pollution in the city atmosphere ,
such
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 as in Uzbekistan, where there are a lot of
cars
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 in one family ; we can see 5
cars
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 per person
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Cars
Punctuation problem
. Cars
show examples
 reduce pollution and
also
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 factories. Citizens breathe the dirty air , which is why almost 70% of people have various diseases.
On the other hand
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, Other people think the lawmakers focus on the prosperity of
roads
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 and private
roads
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 for rich people. These days, the number of public transports is not a problem,
for instance
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, undergrounds, buses, trains enough in every country kinds of public transit. The huge issue that , of course, the numerous
cars
Use synonyms
 and traffic jams. In countless countries, there are always traffic jams morning and evening
as a result
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 of not having special
roads
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 for public
transport
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.
For example
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, in Germany, we can see that there is a special track for long buses and trains. The government do not allow
cars
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 to drive their and citizens who driveon these special paths for public
transport
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 to be fined by policymakers.
To sum up
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,
although
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 improving
roads
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 and highways can facilitate trade and encourage rural communities, investing money in public
transport
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 ,
such
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 as buses, makes it more comfortable like
cars
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, many inhabitants choose to go for public
transport
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. It can help reduce the pollution not only in one country but
also
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 on the Earth

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that states your view, then two body paragraphs each with one main idea, and finish with a clear conclusion.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas (for example, on the one hand, however, in addition, as a result).
content
Give one clear example for each point and explain how it supports your view.
content
The writer tries to cover both sides of the issue.
content
There are real life examples or facts mentioned, like references to different places.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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