IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should spend money on developing public transportation systems, while others think that improving roads and highways is more important.

There is no doubt that many residents think crucial to improve the mass transit. Others' opinion that enhances the
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways for the reason that the government should focus on updating different
roads
Use synonyms
 for
cars
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 public
transport
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the more comfortable side for individuals and
also
Linking Words
 how public transit is significant for inhabitants. On the one hand, the authorities should pay attention to public
transport
Use synonyms
owning
Replace the word
ownership
show examples
 as it is to encourage the environment.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are plenty of
cars
Use synonyms
 that inhabitants use the car for go fast their work so as not to be late to their job.
However
Linking Words
, the fuel
cars
Use synonyms
 reduce air pollution in the city atmosphere ,
such
Linking Words
 as in Uzbekistan, where there are a lot of
cars
Use synonyms
 in one family ; we can see 5
cars
Use synonyms
 per person
Use synonyms
Cars
Punctuation problem
. Cars
show examples
 reduce pollution and
also
Linking Words
 factories. Citizens breathe the dirty air , which is why almost 70% of people have various diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Other people think the lawmakers focus on the prosperity of
roads
Use synonyms
 and private
roads
Use synonyms
 for rich people. These days, the number of public transports is not a problem,
for instance
Linking Words
, undergrounds, buses, trains enough in every country kinds of public transit. The huge issue that , of course, the numerous
cars
Use synonyms
 and traffic jams. In countless countries, there are always traffic jams morning and evening
as a result
Linking Words
 of not having special
roads
Use synonyms
 for public
transport
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Germany, we can see that there is a special track for long buses and trains. The government do not allow
cars
Use synonyms
 to drive their and citizens who driveon these special paths for public
transport
Use synonyms
 to be fined by policymakers.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 improving
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways can facilitate trade and encourage rural communities, investing money in public
transport
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as buses, makes it more comfortable like
cars
Use synonyms
, many inhabitants choose to go for public
transport
Use synonyms
. It can help reduce the pollution not only in one country but
also
Linking Words
 on the Earth

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that states your view, then two body paragraphs each with one main idea, and finish with a clear conclusion.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas (for example, on the one hand, however, in addition, as a result).
content
Give one clear example for each point and explain how it supports your view.
content
The writer tries to cover both sides of the issue.
content
There are real life examples or facts mentioned, like references to different places.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: