There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, which encourages them to buy goods suchastoysandsnacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and giveyouropinion

There is a rising number of
advertising
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
faced
Verb problem
aimed
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at
people
Use synonyms
who are under-18, which gets them excited to buy unhealthy goods
such
Linking Words
as dolls and sweets.
While
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some would argue that they give good information to
children
Use synonyms
, I believe that sort of
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
put a huge pressure on young
people
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. On the one hand, encouraging young
people
Use synonyms
to buy these goods will
draw
Verb problem
lead
show examples
to a serious problem. advertisers don't know that will let
people
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have diseases
such
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as
,
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apply
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diabetes, and cardiac diseases, because some sweets
composed
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are composed
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of lots of
carbohydrate
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carbohydrates
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,
whereas
Linking Words
toys in general, lead to
diabetes type 1
Correct word order
type 1 diabetes
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,
due to
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setting
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sitting
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down for a long period, so they easily get sick.
For example
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, my youngest brother Sam, diagnosed
of
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with
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heart disease,
he's
Verb problem
is
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a fan of advertisements that display sweets and toys.
However
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, I believe that advertisements for young
people
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should be taken into consideration because
children
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can't
distinct
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distinguish
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between what
good
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is good
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for them.
On the other hand
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, parents expressed their
feeling
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feelings
show examples
about advertisements that put
children
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under a magnitude pressure.
By buying
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Buying
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these goods would let
children
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get low marks in
schools
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school
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, and their IQ goes down.
This
Linking Words
is why parents did a campaign
aganist
Correct your spelling
against
advertisers in the UK
last
Linking Words
year. I believe doing campaigns helps families to avoid what is bad for their sons.

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content
Plan your essay with two sides and a clear view at the end. Start with a short repeat of the topic, then two clear body parts, and finish with your view.
structure
Use simple links like and, but, also, but to show a link between ideas. Make each idea fit with the one next to it.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Read aloud to find mistakes and fix run-on sentences.
content
You try to talk about both sides.
content
You use a real example of a family to show your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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