IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average temperatures of three Afrecan cities through the year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average temperatures of three Afrecan cities through the year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the average temperature by
degrees
Use synonyms
 Fahrenheit of three African cities, including Cairo in Egypt, Mombasa in Kenya, and Cape Town in South Africa , throughout the year. From the statistics, we can clearly see that there is fluctuation in the amount over the period
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Cairo started with 55
degrees
Use synonyms
 in January, and it showed a sharp increase over half a year , reaching 82
degrees
Use synonyms
 Fahrenheit in July
,
Punctuation problem
.
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It stayed the same in August, and in September started to decline slightly every month , reaching 57 range in December.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Camp Town began with
70
Correct article usage
a 70
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 ratio , which is 15
extent
Use the right word
per cent
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 more than Egypt, but it stayed the same for a month until February,
then
Linking Words
 it fell , reaching 55
degrees
Use synonyms
 by the middle of the year. And started to increase in a steady way ber month , reaching 78 by the end of the time. Mombasa is the less one from the side by changes and the hottest one, and tends to slight and steady changes it starting with
80
Correct article usage
an 80
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proportion
Check wording
per cent increase
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 and ending with
80
Correct article usage
an 80
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 extent.
Overall
Linking Words
, the information shows a fluctuation in the cities depending on the date and the geographic position , and the climate is changing over the course
because
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of the four seasons.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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