Some parents and teachers think that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

The behaviours of
child
Use synonyms
are very important to their parents. Some people believe that the actions of a
child
Use synonyms
should be restricted.
However
Linking Words
, some opine that
children
Use synonyms
should have the
freedom
Use synonyms
to do what they want. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
, both views are relevant
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
I strongly believe that
children
Use synonyms
should have
restrictions
Use synonyms
on their actions.
This
Linking Words
will limit their mistakes in the future. On one hand, the limitation of a
Use synonyms
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
conduct
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a lot of benefits to the parents and community. One of which is the safety. I think that the rules and regulations established for a
child
Use synonyms
ensures
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensure
show examples
that they are safe and protected from dangers
such
Linking Words
as kidnapping ,drug abuse and human trafficking. It
also
Linking Words
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a channel for
children
Use synonyms
to learn what is right and wrong in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For instance
Linking Words
young
child
Use synonyms
learning from a rule book that it is not good to smoke,
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
or take drugs like
cococaine
Correct your spelling
cocaine
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with a clear plan and routine ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
am of the
opinion
Use synonyms
that
children
Use synonyms
can acquire skills like swimming, reading
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
their
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
activities. Admittedly,
on the other hand
Linking Words
.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
are some benefits that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
from the
freedom
Use synonyms
of a
Use synonyms
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
attitude. One of them is creativity. The liberty given to
children
Use synonyms
enables them to be innovative , think for themselves and learn from their mistakes.
For example
Linking Words
, learning how to drive
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
, if a parent does not let a
child
Use synonyms
learn how to drive a bike. The
child
Use synonyms
will never know how to. Another benefit is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent
Replace the word
independence
show examples
. With the privilege allowed to
children
Use synonyms
, it will make them have a choice about
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their careers, hobbies and activities.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
of
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
actions has its benefits . The advantages
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
restrictions
Use synonyms
of
child
Use synonyms
behaviour still
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
it.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
confirms my
opinion
Use synonyms
about
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
behaviour. I
also
Linking Words
think that the
freedom
Use synonyms
of a
Use synonyms
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
conduct is relevant
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
there should
clear
Verb problem
be clear
show examples
rules and fair limits that
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
children
Use synonyms
the opportunity to make some
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
and build
self control
Use the right word
self-control
show examples
. In conclusion,
Both
Fix capitalization
both
show examples
views are important
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
reaffirm my
opinion
Use synonyms
that
restrictions
Use synonyms
are very key for
child
Use synonyms
growth. I will
also
Linking Words
suggest that there should be a balance between the
restrictions
Use synonyms
of
child
Use synonyms
behaviours and their
freedom
Use synonyms
. Parents should show love , care and communicate with their
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
will prompt some
restrictions
Use synonyms
and
freedom
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle and end. Put one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple connect words.
Task Response
In task response, make your view clear in the conclusion, and fully answer both parts of the task.
Task Response
Give more precise, simple examples to back each point and stay on the main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check grammar and spelling of common words to avoid confusion (for example 'cocaine' instead of 'cococaine') and use full stops correctly.
Content
The essay shows a view is given and some on both sides.
Content
There are some good examples such as safety ideas and how kids learn skills.
Structure
The writing has some sense of order with a plan.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • child
  • children
  • parent
  • parents
  • teacher
  • teachers
  • behaviour
  • rule
  • rules
  • limit
  • limits
  • routine
  • routines
  • safe
  • safety
  • calm
  • respect
  • authority
  • praise
  • help
  • guide
  • freedom
  • choice
  • creative
  • think
  • learn
  • mistakes
  • good
  • bad
  • right
  • wrong
  • balance
  • fair
  • clear
  • plan
  • talk
  • listen
  • example
  • model
  • care
  • love
  • grow
What to do next:
Look at other essays: