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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows information about the number of museum visitors in the UK in summer and winter of 2005

The line graph shows information about the number of museum visitors in the UK in summer and winter of 2005
The line graph illustrates the total number of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in two seasons in the UK in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
museum
Use synonyms
 is more popular in the winter season than summer season.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the winter season, individuals have a high intention to visit the
museum
Use synonyms
 in the morning. Notably, from the opening time to 11 am
.
Punctuation problem
apply
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, the
visitors
Use synonyms
 surged drastically from 200 to approximately 1300 individuals. It continued to grow to about 1500
people
Use synonyms
 at noon.
However
Linking Words
, the
visitors
Use synonyms
 was started to leave the
museum
Use synonyms
 at 13
pm
Use synonyms
., and it showed similar pattern in the next hours. At 15
pm
Use synonyms
., more than 600
visitors
Use synonyms
 left the building from the peak at 12
pm
Use synonyms
., and continued to decrease to the end of the period at 18
pm
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fewer
people
Use synonyms
 entered the
museum
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
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 than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 winter.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 the morning, only 400
people
Use synonyms
 recorded entering the
museum
Use synonyms
, and at noon , which is the peak hour, only 600
people
Use synonyms
 visited.
Thus
Linking Words
, at 15
pm
Use synonyms
., the
museum
Use synonyms
 had no
visitors
Use synonyms
 remaining.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors, people, pm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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