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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000.

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000.
The line graph illustrates how long it takes different manufacturers to make a refrigerator between 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,it was clear that both
company
Use synonyms
 A and
company
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 had similar trends during the decade.
By contrast
Linking Words
, only
company
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B
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable for the whole period. In 1990,
company
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C
Use synonyms
 used more
time
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 than the other companies, and
company
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 A used the second longest
time
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, the shortest
hours
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 taken by
company
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B
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. During
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 ten years,
company
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C
Use synonyms
 had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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little
changed
Replace the word
change
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 throughout
this
Linking Words
 period, the
time
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 of making a refrigerator
from
Verb problem
changed from
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 35
hours
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 to 28
hours
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the usage
time
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 of
company
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 A declined drastically, reaching 23
hours
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.
Company
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B
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 maintained the same level, around 26
hours
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 to produce a refrigerator.By 2000, the duration of
company
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B
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as
Correct word order
was as
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much
Rephrase
long
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 as
company
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C
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 was between 25
hours
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 and 30
hours
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. Noticeably,
company
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 A fell rapidly, which became the fastest manufacturer
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that
time
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words company, c, b, time, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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