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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Organising to a large family celebrations such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant problems from your knowledge and experience.

Family celebrations are considered really important in different cultures. Some of these events
like
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, like
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Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
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wedding
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wedding,
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 can bring various hassles with themselves. We cannot deny that there are a
lot
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 of troubles, especially when
people
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 spend
a
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apply
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lot
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 of
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money more
Correct word order
more money
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 than their financial ability
, some
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allows, some
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 essential things might be forgotten. I suggest providing situations to pay enough attention to the meaning behind these
event
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events
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, and I am going to elaborate on
this
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 in the following. On the one hand, there are various difficulties
for
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in
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 holding major ceremonies. Despite the fact that
,
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apply
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 it is a good reason to visit our relatives and
friends
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 during our happy times,
people
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 have to spend a
lot
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 of
money
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 for that. Sometimes, not only must
people
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 invest
money
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 for several months
but
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, but
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also they are
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they are also
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 forced to borrow
money
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 from their family members or get loans from banks.
As a result
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, they might not be
enough happy
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happy enough
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in
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on
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 that day
for
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with
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 their debts.
Moreover
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, big parties
are required
Wrong verb form
require
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 a
lot
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 of coordination
before
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beforehand
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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because everyone prefers to appear perfect in all aspects.
People
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 often are judged by their guests
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while
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, while
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 they tried so hard to
organize
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organise
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 different items in good ways.
Likewise
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, they will become so bored. Because of
this
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,
hosts
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 cannot enjoy their time and do the activities they have dreamed
to do
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of doing
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.
On the other hand
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, what I believe is that
hosts
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 have
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 right to be happy like others.
Therefore
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, I suggest to them that considering items, which are critical
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, cab
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cab
Use the right word
can
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 be effective. In
this
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 way, they can avoid excessive expenses.
Similarly
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, they
just
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apply
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can
invite
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only invite
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 their close
friends
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 and relatives, who are actually valuable
for
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to
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 them.
Hence
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, all the
people
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 who attend
in
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an
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 intimate atmosphere event can experience fun, happiness, and
joyful
Correct article usage
a joyful
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 time.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
hosts
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 can ask their close
friends
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 and family members to take small responsibilities.
Consequently
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, everything can be well-organised, and
hosts
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 will have
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 moments. Unlike the formal conditions, their close
friends
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 will start to compliment them for their efforts, and guests
have
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will have
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 enough energy to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their dreams. In conclusion,
although
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 some celebrations can create unpleasant experiences for the
inviters
Use the right word
invitees
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, there are several solutions to decrease negative effects, and make the memorable time for everyone.

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task response
Plan a clear answer with an intro, two body parts (problems and solutions) and a short end. Give one or two real life examples to show you know the scene.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple, steady flow. Put one idea in each paragraph and use link words like 'first', 'also', 'then', 'but' to help the mind follow.
lexical resource
Choose exact words. Do not use wrong words like 'cab'. Use simple talk about money, time, and help from family.
grammar accuracy
Check grammar. Use full sentence. Watch subject-verb form and endings in long sentences.
coherence
The essay shows care for the topic and uses both sides (problem and fix).
task response
It has a plan to cut cost by small steps and to have a warm feel in a small group.
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