IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Large companies should pay CEOs and executives higher salary than other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

CEOs
Use synonyms
 and
executives
Use synonyms
 are already well-paid
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 most
executives
Use synonyms
 live a luxury lifestyle.
However
Linking Words
, their
workers
Use synonyms
 do not have the same
privilege
Fix the agreement mistake
privileges
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 as
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
.
Verb problem
do.
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Thus
Linking Words
, I disagree that
CEOs
Use synonyms
 should be paid
higher
Correct word choice
more
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
CEOs
Use synonyms
 and
executives
Use synonyms
 are both high-responsibility
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they are responsible for their
company
Use synonyms
 well
being
Verb problem
well-being
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 and
overall
Linking Words
 profit.
For example
Linking Words
, if the
Use synonyms
company
Check wording
company's
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 profits go down, they blame the
CEOs
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
executives
Use synonyms
 who made their
company
Use synonyms
thrives
Correct subject-verb agreement
thrive
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 will receive praise and
bonus
Correct article usage
a bonus
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, making their income high and above average, giving them bonuses
such
Linking Words
 as accommodations, cars
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 a free vacation would benefit the
CEOs
Use synonyms
 without increasing their already well-paid
salary
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, normal
workers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
salary
Replace the word
salaried
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 men have a stable
salary
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 their
salary
Use synonyms
 is based on their work and assignment. It’s not that they are not hard-working, but their work is not as varied as
Use synonyms
executives
Check wording
executives'
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,
Use synonyms
salary
Correct word choice
and salary
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 men only have to worry about their division or department. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
CEOs
Use synonyms
 have to take care of the entire corporation. Still,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean that
executives
Use synonyms
 should be paid
higher
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 than they already
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
. Yes,
CEOs
Use synonyms
 are the heart of a
company
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 an important organ
that is
Linking Words
 constantly working. If a
company
Use synonyms
 decides to raise
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
executive’s
Check wording
executives’
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 even more,
this
Linking Words
 could lower the desire to work
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I disagree that
CEOs
Use synonyms
 should be paid higher
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they should be awarded with bonuses and accommodations, to prevent
Use synonyms
salary-men
Use the right word
salarymen
show examples
 from thinking that their effort has gone unnoticed.

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task
Be clear at once. State your simple view in the first part and keep it the same in all parts.
task
Give one main reason in each body paragraph and give a small, clear example to show it.
coherence
Put ideas in order. Use a new paragraph for each idea. Use words like first, next, also, and finally.
grammar
Check the form of your sentences. Use short, correct forms. Avoid long run-on lines.
coherence
Do not repeat the same point. Stick to the question and stay on topic.
task
The writer shows a clear view against higher pay for CEOs.
linguistics
The essay uses simple, easy words and easy idea flow.
structure
There is a simple shape with intro, body and conclusion.
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