IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is considered to be immensely significant for some propensity to be in considerable risky conditions approaching their
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life. I believe that the advantages of the previously mentioned trend are more than its cons. Since individuals put themselves under risky circumstances, it would be necessary for their career development and soft skills. It is an undeniable fact that our generation is evolving with every passing day
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to be able to enhance personal qualities and
revolutionize
Change the spelling
revolutionise
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 our perspectives, humankind should approach divergent things to come up with innovations. Nowadays
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to the hard requirements and exam conditions of universities, seniors have deep hesitation to
immense
Use the right word
immerse
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
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with
Change preposition
in
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 the
work
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 environment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they are hesitant to
work
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 without considering the upcoming advantages of early
work
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 experience created by dozens of companies for them. Considering their ages and financial
state
Punctuation problem
state,
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 it would be definitely precious to have a position in promising workplaces to get along
the
Change preposition
with the
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 details of their profession
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be significantly helpful for their future professional life. To illustrate, when they graduate from their
universities
Punctuation problem
universities,
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 they will be qualified and experienced employees
demanding
Wrong verb form
in demand
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 in their branch. As a social and professional atmosphere is considerably vital for our personal development, we should
maximize
Change the spelling
maximise
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 our skills. When any person
attains into
Verb problem
enters
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 a
work
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environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 must surely
be gained
Wrong verb form
gain
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 leadership skills, teamwork perspectives, flexibility and social
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
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 approaches to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real-life situations. As an example,
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 famous and promising figures in history have jumped into professional life before they have finished their higher education and theory related to
goal
Correct pronoun usage
their goal
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 subject and resolution.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, leaders of branches do not seek dilettante workers but rather fully equipped, knowledgeable, and well-qualified ones.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, you have a chance to accomplish some international certificates as
much
Rephrase
early
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 as
earlier
Correct word choice
possible
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,
such
Linking Words
 as TKT, UNICERT
Punctuation problem
,
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which provide irreplaceable opportunities for workers to shine and be promoted in their workplaces. In conclusion, taking risks has some benefits and drawbacks, but in my perception, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

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structure
Have a clear intro with a thesis that states your view.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a sentence to lead from the last idea to the next.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
examples
Give one or two strong, real examples that back your point.
language
Use plain words and check grammar for clear meaning.
strength
You show a clear view that risk can help in work life.
strength
You give some ideas on how risk can guide learning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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