IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008.

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008.
The bar graph illustrates the
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of phone calls in AUS, separated into three
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
, between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of local telephone calls
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 fluctuated over time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure of National & International calls
witness
Fix the agreement mistake
witnesses
show examples
 a slight increase. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of Mobile calls in
minutes
Use synonyms
 rose significantly.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in 2001, the number of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of local calls stood at 72, and
then
Linking Words
 grew steadily, reaching 90 in 2005. After that, it decreased over the next three years, falling from 90 to 72 in 2008.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2001, the
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of National & International telephone calls
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
begen
Correct your spelling
began
 at 38, and
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
 4 years , in 2005, the number of
minutes
Use synonyms
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 50, and it kept increasing over the period
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 2008, it ended with 61
minutes
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2001, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of Mobile calls in
minutes
Use synonyms
begen
Correct your spelling
began
 at 2, after that it started to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 slightly, for the first 5 years, after 2005, it started to grow
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 over time.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 2008, it stood at 46.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: