Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers, who make greater contribution to society, should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every profession is contributing equally to the growth of the economy. Few masses say that there are certain job positions like doctors, nurses and teachers,
which
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who
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are investing a lot in society's development, deserve's great amount of salary package ,
however
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, the entertainment and sports areas should receive less. I am in accord with
this
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statement to an extent and will shed light on my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,professions related to sports and entertainment play a crucial role in the well-being of society. In
this
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day and age,
due to
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high living expenses, people are becoming workaholics , which can predispose
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them to
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many issues like stress.To tackle that stress level, the entertainment industry helps to eliminate
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problems .
For instance
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, watching comedy movies is quite popular and a stress-buster activity for individuals.
Moreover
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, people who choose to be athletes
,
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apply
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can serve their nation globally. Sports events like the Olympics are recognised internationally and give equal recognition to the players from distinct countries.
Therefore
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, both industries
should
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deserve good remuneration. On the flip side of the coin,the healthcare and teaching sectors are very demanding for the growing population.Every individual can dream of anything big only after getting
appropriate
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an appropriate
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education from
the
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a
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teacher.
Moreover
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, teachers deal with a number of questions from students of all abilities, which is quite challenging. To cite an epitome, one survey revealed that teaching is the only field which demands more involvement.
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to
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, people spend ample hours before acquiring degrees in healthcare.
For example
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, Degrees like MBBS require constant study of 21 hours a day .
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, it deserves a good pay rate as it involves lots of theoretical and practical knowledge .
To conclude
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, all job sectors are contributing in their own respective ways to the economy .With the aim ,they should get the same level of recognition in terms of pay,benefits and security.

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task response
Be clear on your view at once and state it in the first sentence. Then give 2 or 3 reasons only and finish with a short conclusion.
coherence
Use simple links to show how your points go with each other. Words like and, but, also, however can help.
language
Keep short sentences. Check grammar such as 'deserve' vs 'deserves' and avoid long, run-on lines.
task response
They try to answer the question and give both sides.
structure
There is an intro and a ending.
evidence
Examples like Olympics and MBBS are used to support points.
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