IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram below shows the process of making instant coffee.

the diagram below shows the process of making instant coffee.
The diagram below illustrates the manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 for making instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 from
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a linear
process
Use synonyms
constisting
Correct your spelling
consisting
six
Change preposition
of six
show examples
 main processes
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 collecting, roasting, grinding, mixing, and drying, before the final product is packaged. The
process
Use synonyms
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 with
farmed
Wrong verb form
farming
show examples
 the
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 before drying them. After the
beans
Use synonyms
 are fully dried
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
Use synonyms
beans
Check wording
apply
show examples
are roasted
with
Change preposition
at
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 high temperature
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 immediately cooled
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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rapidly using a machine.  In the next stage, the cooled
beans
Use synonyms
 are
gound
Use the right word
ground
show examples
 using
Correct article usage
a grounder
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grounder
Use the right word
grinder
show examples
 machine with
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
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 of making them into small
pices
Correct your spelling
pieces
. Because the ground frozen
beans
Use synonyms
 are
trun
Correct your spelling
turned
 into liquid, the frozen ground
beans
Use synonyms
 have to
dried
Verb problem
be dried
show examples
 in a
vacum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 to
romove
Correct your spelling
remove
 the water. After the
process
Use synonyms
 of drying the
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 done and the products are completely dried.
Finally
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 product
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Punctuation problem
coffee,
show examples
 is packed into jars and they are ready for
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, coffee, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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