Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

These days, the phenomenon

that

Verb problem

is that

show examples

females have more roles and responsibilities than in the

prior time

Check wording

past

show examples

. Some argue that

this

Linking Words

development has resulted in

some

Use the right word

show examples

problems than benefits. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the statement and believe that increased opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

can lead to substantial improvements not only for themselves but

also

Linking Words

for the

society

Check wording

society's

show examples

economic development. One very strong argument for

this

Linking Words

issue is that providing

women

Use synonyms

with greater access to education and employment has

contribute

Wrong verb form

contributed

show examples

to economic growth and social stability. When

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Use synonyms

participate equally in the workplace, countries can benefit from

larger

Correct article usage

a larger

show examples

talent pool, including

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high productivity and increased household income.

For example

Linking Words

, the nations like Norway and Canada, where gender equality is

prioritized

Change the spelling

prioritised

show examples

, consistently rank high in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of prosperity and wellbeing.

Moreover

Linking Words

, empowering

women

Use synonyms

has been linked

reduced

Change preposition

to reduced

show examples

poverty rate and improved

heath

Use the right word

health

show examples

outcome

Fix the agreement mistake

outcomes

show examples

for families, as educated

women

Use synonyms

are more likely to support their children’s education and wellbeing.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, giving

women

Use synonyms

more chances

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to create a fairer society. In the past, many

talents

Replace the word

talented

show examples

women

Use synonyms

cannot

Wrong verb form

could not

show examples

use their abilities because of traditional roles. Now, with more freedom,

women

Use synonyms

can become doctors, lawyers and engineers.

This

Linking Words

will

Punctuation problem

, in

show examples

turn

Punctuation problem

turn,

show examples

lead to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

a good and positive impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

the young girls with role models to follow.

Although

Linking Words

some people would worry that these changes may cause family problems, I believe that families can adapt and share responsibilities equally.

For example

Linking Words

, more and more

females become

Wrong verb form

women are becoming

show examples

leader

Fix the agreement mistake

leaders

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

both companies and governments. In conclusion, I firmly believe that more opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

have led to more benefits for individuals and society as a whole. The existing challenges are small compared to the positive effects of gender equality.

emilychoi.pp

Sep 23, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task focus

Be clear about your view in the first lines and restate it at the end.

coherence

Use simple link words to show how ideas go from one to next.

evidence

Give one strong example for each idea and explain it a bit more.

content

You give a clear view that more opps for women bring good things.

content

You use real places, like Norway and Canada, as examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
social justice
economic development
innovation
traditional family roles
shared responsibilities
diverse perspectives
creativity
decision-making
educational opportunities
work-life balance
traditionalists
societal friction
gender roles

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What are the causes and solutions of this problem.
Nowadays, it is reported that the recorded cases of overweight, which is categorized as a severe health issue, are growing lately. There are numerous causes of these problems; improper eating habits and too much exposure to psychological stress. In this essay, I will explain this further as well as provide the appropriate solutions.
7.5
band
Today many young people spend too much of thier free time at shopping malls.This can be considered negative for young people and society generally.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.
Leisure time spent in commercial superstores is increasingly popular these days. It is generally believed that this trend could impact individuals and society negatively, though I personally opine on the contrary. As for me, I do not agree with the said idea because shopping places are meet-up places for many and they also benefit the retail business.
7
band
Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that non-academic subjects do not help you in any way in the future and believe that non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. This essay will look into why I think non-academic subjects are equally important as academic subjects.
7.5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Parenting is increasingly concerned with the concepts of cooperation and competition. While it is argued that youngsters need to participate in positive competition at their age to develop their passions, some individuals think that collaboration training has long-term benefits. In reference to this notion, I am wholeheartedly in agreement that collaborating with others is considerably more crucial.
6
band
Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?
It is believed that income should be the primary cause of pursuing a career. The writer of this essay agrees that money is essential when pursuing a career because of providing a sustainable life for family members, with passion and working conditions contributing to other reasons why people select a job.

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What are the causes and solutions of this problem.

Today many young people spend too much of thier free time at shopping malls.This can be considered negative for young people and society generally.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?