IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Travelling is an essential factor in a country's development. The quality of transportation systems greatly
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 the productivity, time-efficiency and cost-effectiveness of a place. Two of the major ones being railway systems and
roads
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 essay provides insight
on
Change preposition
into
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 the different benefits that both can offer. Railways are used for a number of things
,
Punctuation problem
;
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primarily
Punctuation problem
primarily,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
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 as pathways for public transportation. Through trains and subways, a large
sum
Check wording
number
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 of people could get from one place to another, all
while
Linking Words
 avoiding heavy traffic and congestion that one may experience in a private vehicle. These vessels can
also
Linking Words
 be used for moving heavy materials in a safer manner, as compared to
highways
Punctuation problem
highways,
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 where accidents and casualties may happen.
Roads
Use synonyms
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 are like a basic framework. It can't be argued that they are more vast and generally used by the general population. They could be compared to the veins in the body, used to distribute vital oxygen to organs.
This
Linking Words
 is where some may argue that
roads
Use synonyms
 should be invested in more. Deteriorating
roads
Use synonyms
 may be of more pressing issue as compared to railroads, if the majority prefer to travel by car. In my own point of view,
roads
Use synonyms
 are
indismissable
Correct your spelling
indispensable
 and more important. I am not avid of public transportation, and I enjoy the convenience of having my own car. For
this
Linking Words
 very reason, I prefer developing new
roads
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
, to alleviate traffic and shorten my travel times. In conclusion, there are benefits to improving
roads
Use synonyms
 and railways.
However
Linking Words
, going with the one more frequently used seems to be of better value to me.

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grammar
Fix the spelling and grammar errors. For example, change 'indismissable' to 'indispensable' and use plural verbs when talking about 'railways' or 'roads'.
task response
Give a more balanced view. State more clear reasons for both sides and finish with a clear personal view.
coherence
Use clear linking words and simple rhythm to show the order of ideas, for example 'first', 'then', 'finally'.
structure
End with a strong conclusion that repeats your view in few words.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides and shows a personal view.
structure
Some good ideas are put in simple form and the essay has an overall idea about transport.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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