IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that cars should be banned from city centres. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the harmful substance
from
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apply
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carbon
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dioxide
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 is one of the biggest contributors
for
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to
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 climate degradation worldwide. Some people argued that
vehicles
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 should be regulated in a big city
due to
Linking Words
carbon
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dioxide
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 production because most of the cities around the world will produce a huge amount of harmful substances from
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 high
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it is mandatory for communities to preserve the environment. First of all, climate change triggered many disastrous effects on humanity. These conditions are initiated by several factors
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
carbon
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dioxide
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 and deforestation. Most conventional
vehicles
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 with fossil
fuel
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fuels
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 will produce
carbon
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dioxide
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, and the enormous amount of these substances will cause an imbalance
to
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in
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 the ecosystem.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a metropolitan city, there is massive traffic of
vehicles
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 in rush hours
everyday
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every day
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, a massive traffic jam will collect a serious amount of
carbon
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dioxide
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 in the air,
thus
Linking Words
 the particles could damage the atmosphere.
Finally
Linking Words
, a damaged atmosphere will lead to several disasters
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as the rise of the sea levels and floods. The other reason is, the traffic from
vehicles
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 will produce noise pollution throughout the city areas.
This
Linking Words
 pollution is challenging because pedestrians will be uncomfortable
while
Linking Words
 walking along the streets.
For example
Linking Words
, the exhaust and engine sounds will generate noise and make people uncomfortable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as an indirect cause, noise pollution
in
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over
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 a long period will lead to hearing loss
to
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in
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 a person and degrade their health conditions. In conclusion,
vehicles
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 should be regulated by the authority to mitigate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental damage and ensure the community’s health continuously.

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Task response
State your view clearly in the opening and restate it in the end. Add strong reasons and link them.
Task response
Give more exact examples and data to back your points.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear order of ideas. Use linking words to join sentences and parts.
Coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Short, simple sentences help.
Language quality
Be careful with grammar and phrasing. Some sentences are long and mix ideas.
Structure
The essay shows a clear view and uses an intro, body, and conclusion.
Coherence
Two main ideas are given: CO2 and noise.
Coherence
Linking phrases connect ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental benefits
  • public transportation
  • alternative transport
  • carbon footprint
  • economic impact
  • infrastructure
  • resistance
  • equity concerns
  • pedestrian safety
  • pollution levels
  • healthier environment
  • cycling
  • public health
  • road accidents
  • investment
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