IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows people's level of satisfaction with the health care system in 4 countries between 1991 and 2007

The graph below shows people's level of satisfaction with the health care system in 4 countries between 1991 and 2007
The given line graph represents the comparison of the people’s level of
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 with the health
care
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 in 4 countries in Canada,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 over a period of 16 years from 1991 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
considerably
Replace the word
considerable
show examples
fell
Verb problem
apply
show examples
changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the citizens
level
Check wording
'
show examples
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 with the
healthy
Use the right word
healthcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 between Canada and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
. The opposite trend was true in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 had a fluctuation
slowly
Punctuation problem
, slowly
show examples
 climbed. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of Canada,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 number of
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 with the health
care
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 fell around 40% from 1991 to 1998,
then
Linking Words
 rose rapidly
Punctuation problem
, double
show examples
double
Replace the word
doubling
show examples
 from 20% to 40% in the following 9 years in 2007. Without exception,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 Netherlands increased slightly around 3% from 1991 to 1998, after
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 steadily around 5% by 2007. In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, from 1991 to
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
 the number of
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Check wording
people satisfied
show examples
 with the health
care
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 of the people experienced a flew from
slighty
Correct your spelling
slight
from
Check wording
increase from
show examples
 about 20% to nearly
approx
Rephrase
apply
show examples
30%.
Besides
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 US mostly insignificantly grew just around 3% from 1998 to 2007.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words satisfaction, care, system with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • satisfaction level
  • comparative analysis
  • steady increase/decrease
  • fluctuation
  • health policy
  • government spending
  • global health crisis
  • public health initiatives
  • perception
  • speculation
  • historical data
  • implications
  • trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: