IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public services like education and healthcare, while others think that investing in infrastructure such as roads and bridges is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over which public services or infrastructure should be invested
more
Change preposition
in more
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 capital.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals think education and healthcare services are more important, others believe it would be more advantageous to put more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
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 roads or bridges. If the government put more
money
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 into the education and healthcare systems, it may lead to economic growth. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 some
society
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people
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 in poor
countries
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 go abroad to study or pursue medicine, the quality is far from what they expect in their own
country
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. Take my
country
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Uzbekistan
Punctuation problem
, Uzbekistan
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, where individuals try to study in modern
countries
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 , which results in wasting a great deal of
money
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 abroad,
while
Linking Words
 some of them cannot afford it.
Thus
Linking Words
, in
Uzbekistan
Add a comma
Uzbekistan,
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 there is a lack of expert doctors. People with serious illnesses should go
another
Change preposition
to another
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country
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if officials
fund
Verb problem
allocate
show examples
 more
money
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 and pay attention to the development of education and medicine, a large amount of capital will be kept , and local people may not go the other
countries
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 either for study or healthcare. In some cases, investing a lot of
money
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 in infrastructure will be beneficial for economic growth. By
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 focusing on roads and bridges, the
country
Use synonyms
 may gain more reputation and good looking.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some
countries
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 that earn a large amount of
money
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 from tourism. So, if a
country
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 becomes more beautiful by developing roads and
crafting
Verb problem
building
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 bridges, it will lead the
country
Use synonyms
 to attract more tourists.
Then
Linking Words
,
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 for hotels and special apartments will increase rapidly.
Overall
Linking Words
, by focusing on infrastructure, the
country
Use synonyms
 gains more tourists and earns more
money
Use synonyms
.

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task
Give a clear view at the start and restate it at the end.
coherence
Make each paragraph have a clear topic sentence and main point.
content
Add more simple facts or examples, kept short and to the point.
grammar
Fix grammar and join words well; use easy link words.
content
The text shows both sides and a final view.
examples
There is an example from your country.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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