IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to shop in traditional stores. Other people prefer to do their shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that retail
stores
Use synonyms
 are more convenient for shopping,
while
Linking Words
 others think that e-commerce is better. I believe that
while
Linking Words
 physical shops enable greater
product
Use synonyms
 visibility and
customer
Use synonyms
 experience, digital shopping offers higher
customer
Use synonyms
 satisfaction
due to
Linking Words
 home delivery and
broader
Correct article usage
a broader
show examples
 catalogue. High street shops are the most common form of shopping. People can go to nearby
stores
Use synonyms
, can pick up the products by judging them physically and purchase instantly. Retail
stores
Use synonyms
 provide greater
customer
Use synonyms
 approval
due to
Linking Words
 hands-on experience
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
product
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, before buying a delicate or expensive
product
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 often tend to check it with their own eyes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a lower chance of getting faulty products as customers verify them before purchasing. Despite
this
Linking Words
, I argue that online shopping offers better convenience by allowing
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
show examples
 order products from home and
varied
Correct article usage
a varied
show examples
 collection. One of the main reasons behind the current popularity of e-shopping over walk-in
stores
Use synonyms
 is the home delivery method
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 reduces the burden of carrying the
product
Use synonyms
 and transport cost. It provides more flexibility as customers can order with a click and receive the
product
Use synonyms
 next to their door.
Moreover
Linking Words
, online
stores
Use synonyms
 usually have a larger collection, and it is easier for consumers to select their desired goods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online sites offer competitive and cheaper offers as they do not need to pay for physical
stores
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent survey published by The Guardian showed that 85% customers showed a preference
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 online shopping. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 walk-in
stores
Use synonyms
 offer hands-on experience, the digital
stores
Use synonyms
 become superior in
customer
Use synonyms
 preference by offering door-to-door service and wider selections.

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task response
Be clear from the start. State your view in the opening and keep it in every part. Add more details to each idea with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together. Check that each paragraph follows the last one smoothly.
task response
The essay shows a clear view and has a simple, easy to read form.
coherence and cohesion
There is a balance of views and a conclusion that restates the writer’s view.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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