IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The central government, the city government and individuals should all be responsible for protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree

In contemporary society, the issue of conserving the
environment
Use synonyms
 has sparked considerable debate. Some people believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 and citizens have
responsibility
Correct article usage
a responsibility
show examples
 to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is necessary for people to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
, as humans are contributors to its destruction. The large number of vehicles
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to excessive carbon emissions, which
Verb problem
is cause
show examples
cause
Replace the word
caused
show examples
 by severe air pollution.
This
Linking Words
 consequence poses a threat to human health.
For example
Linking Words
, automobiles are highly
rely
Replace the word
reliant
show examples
 on fossil fuels, producing a large amount of
Co2
Use the right word
CO2
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 emissions, which contributes to respiratory disease.
As a result
Linking Words
, people must take
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 in order to ensure public health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 need to formulate relevant laws to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bio-diversity
Use the right word
biodiversity
show examples
, as they play a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ecological conservation. Formulating stricter environmental policies can bring benefits to ecological conservation, ensuring the marine habitats.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2024,
Taiwan
Correct article usage
the Taiwan
show examples
 government
implements
Wrong verb form
implemented
show examples
 a plastic limit policy in order to preserve the ecosystem, which decreases the garbage waste. The result can effectively protect the survival of marine life.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is indispensable to the authorities to make several
exo-friendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
 measures to guarantee
the ecology
Correct word choice
ecological
show examples
 sustainability. In conclusion, preserving nature requires
efforts
Correct article usage
the efforts
show examples
 of
governments
Use synonyms
 and humans.
While
Linking Words
 individuals can change daily habits,
governments
Use synonyms
 can enforce policies to ensure considerable impacts. Only both sides
collaboration
Check wording
apply
show examples
can trigger
safer
Correct article usage
a safer
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 for the next generation.

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grammar
Many sentences have grammar and word form errors, which makes it hard to get the idea. Fix the basics of verb form and use the right word.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear plan. Start each paragraph with a main idea and use simple link words to move from one idea to the next.
lexis
Use only small, easy words. Check phrases like 'rely', 'lead to', 'be responsible' and use easy form.
content
Give more detail for each point. In each part, add one clear idea and explain how it helps the goal.
task
You show a clear view and you take a stand.
content
You use a real policy example from Taiwan as support.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shared responsibility
  • enact
  • enforce
  • allocate
  • environmental laws
  • pollution control
  • recycling programs
  • waste management
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly practices
  • sustainable
  • comprehensive
  • public awareness campaigns
  • global warming
  • concerted efforts
  • biodiversity
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