IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries it is illegal to stop people applying for a job because of their age. Is this a positive or a negative development?

it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 development.The rule makes hiring fair by not using
age
Use synonyms
,it will benefit to economy and society,and sometimes it will
bings
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 that we should solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and make the world better. If
rule
Correct article usage
the rule
show examples
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 hiring not using
age
Use synonyms
,it means that it can give more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 to everyone to work,including older
workers
Use synonyms
 who have
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and young people who are new to work to get more experience.So everyone can find
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
,can earn money by their self.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,it will improve the society and economy.More
workers
Use synonyms
 mean more goods and services,for older
workers
Use synonyms
 they can bring experience and steadiness,
while
Linking Words
 younger
workers
Use synonyms
 may bring more new ideas,so a mix can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 a company grow. Maybe it brings some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
,some employers may try to guess
age
Use synonyms
 in a hidden way or ask about
age
Use synonyms
.And we should deal with the matter about
this
Linking Words
,making rules and checking to stop
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
,training
fo
Use the right word
for
show examples
 HR and clear reporting
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 enforce the law. In a word,the change is good if rules are clear and well enforced,it will
protects
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
 rights and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 the job market,
thoug
Correct your spelling
though
 learning to put policy into practice takes effort.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear on your view at the start and keep it in mind as you add each point.
coherence
Put your ideas in separate paragraphs. One main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go together (for example: also, but, then).
content
Give one or two clear examples for each main idea.
language
Check spelling and fix easy errors in grammar and word use (for example: possessives, punctuation).
structure
Finish with a short, strong conclusion that restates your view.
content
The essay shows fair use of the age rule as a good idea.
structure
The writer tries to show both sides and give a view.
language
The word choice is easy to read and not too hard for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age
  • job
  • work
  • hire
  • fair
  • unfair
  • equal
  • chance
  • people
  • law
  • rule
  • old
  • young
  • skill
  • experience
  • company
  • boss
  • help
  • harm
  • grow
What to do next:
Look at other essays: