IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

In recent years, sharing
information
Use synonyms
 has become a topic of heated debate. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
knowledge
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 in different
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 should be shared in public for free,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 argue that
information
Use synonyms
 should be limited because it is vital and valuable. In the following, I will discuss both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 and present my opinion. Supporters of the
information
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 should
be shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
 much as possible. They claim that
due to
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 the access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
knowledge
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is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
becoming easier, the gap
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 is
lessing
Correct your spelling
lessening
.
For instance
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, the more
information
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 about science online, the more
people
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 have the
opportunities
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opportunity
show examples
 to
get in
Verb problem
enter
show examples
 the industry.
In addition
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, exchanging
knowledge
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 can increase the connection of the public, facilitating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social interaction.
Therefore
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, it is evident why some
people
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 hold
this
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 view
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sharing
information
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the
information
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 need to be limited. They believe that
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 the
knowledge
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 is through the number of
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and effort to extract,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
information
Use synonyms
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 be offered to someone who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
have
Verb problem
make
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 any
sacrafices
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
.
Additionally
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, some chemical
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
 could be abused if the criminal
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 these
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
harmful
Correct article usage
a harmful
show examples
 way.
Hence
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, some
information
Use synonyms
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
 by
qualified
Correct article usage
a qualified
show examples
 person could avoid
damaging
Replace the word
damage
show examples
. In my opinion, I am more
incline
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inclined
show examples
 to agree with the latter view.
People
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 use their experiences to
summary
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summarise
show examples
 the whole concept in some
perticular industy
Correct your spelling
particular industry
,
then
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 we should respect their result.

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language
Fix many word form and spelling mistakes to make the text clear.
structure
Make a clear start, one body with two sides, and a short end that repeats your main idea.
content
Give one or two clear examples that match each idea and show why it matters.
language
Use small, correct grammar and short, direct sentences to help the reader.
language
Check that you use the right meaning of key words like share and information so your point is plain.
content
You try to talk about both sides of the topic.
structure
You state your view at the end.
language
You use words to link ideas, like On the other hand and Therefore.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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