IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

In
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
show examples
 research
world
Use synonyms
, it is good to
share
Use synonyms
 as much
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 as possible because in
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
show examples
field
Punctuation problem
field,
show examples
 it is important to
researcher
Check wording
apply
show examples
know new findings quickly by other experts sharing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
new
essay
Fix the agreement mistake
essays
show examples
 or research.
This
Linking Words
not only can
Correct word order
cannot only
show examples
 improve our evolution but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help us to solve a lot of
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 that we
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 troubled
for
Change preposition
with for
show examples
 a long time. For the business
world
Use synonyms
, it is
also
Linking Words
 essential to
share
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 about themselves. It is because people nowadays pay more attention to social responsibility. Each company needs to do what they should do to
feedback
Verb problem
give feedback
show examples
 the society
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is beneficial to firms to reveal their ESG proposal.
Due to
Linking Words
 the indispensable
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education, in the academic
world
Use synonyms
,
partake
Verb problem
acquiring
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newly
Replace the word
new
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 important. Only if we do that can we improve our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and reduce educational inequality in remote
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, excessive sharing may cause some bad
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
show examples
 research
world
Use synonyms
, if
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 confidential formula
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bomb
Correct article usage
a bomb
show examples
 is
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
known
Punctuation problem
known,
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 it may pose a potential crisis.
Also
Linking Words
 in the academic
world
Use synonyms
, letting more people know your project is
also
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 inappropriate choice, because some people may want to steal
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 effort to let them become famous
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 field. In the business
Use synonyms
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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 there is
also
Linking Words
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 too many things. Some
information
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 too valuable to be shared freely. It might include exclusive trade
secret
Fix the agreement mistake
secrets
show examples
 and
thus
Linking Words
 it is not allowed to let
competitor
Fix the agreement mistake
competitors
show examples
 find out. In my opinion, I think it depends on different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of things. Some things
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, helpful findings or are welcome to
share
Use synonyms
 and can increase our welfare
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 some
information
Use synonyms
 cannot easily be shown because of our safety and so on. In conclusion, sharing is a great thing in those three
Use synonyms
world
Fix the agreement mistake
worlds
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 we need to carefully select what we
share
Use synonyms
 so that we can increase our quality of life
decline
Verb problem
and reduce
show examples
 our insecurity.

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structure
Make a short and clear intro that shows your main idea.
development
Each main idea should have a clear line of reason and one simple example.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear links and keep sentences simple to help the reader.
grammar
Check for small grammar fix and word forms.
content
The essay talks about why sharing info can help science, work, and study.
balance
It shows a view that sharing should be careful but not too far.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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