IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

IT IS INDISPUTABLE THAT RECENTLY, IN MULTIPLE COUNTRIES,
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 ARE BUYING PROCESSED
FOOD
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 FROM
SUPERMARKETS
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.
WHILE
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THIS
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 HAS MANY ADVANTAGES, THERE ARE
ALSO
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 SEVERAL DISADVANTAGES.
THIS
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 ESSAY WILL EXAMINE BOTH PERSPECTIVES AND PRESENT MY OPINION.
INITIALLY
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,
SUPERMARKETS
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 ARE A RESOURCE FOR FINANCIAL PROFITS.
IN OTHER WORDS
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, WE CAN GAIN A LOT OF MONEY BY RUNNING A SUPERMARKET BUSINESS.
SUPERMARKETS
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 DO NOT ONLY EXIST TO FEED
PEOPLE
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, BUT THEY
ALSO
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 PROVIDE FINANCIAL RETURNS BY SELLING MANY PRODUCTS.
FURTHERMORE
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,
SUPERMARKETS
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 ARE AN EASY OPTION FOR
PEOPLE
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 WHO WANT TO BUY GROCERIES.
FOR INSTANCE
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, THE COMMON AGE IS ELDERLY
PEOPLE
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 WHO
CANNOT
Verb problem
can
show examples
FARM
Rephrase
not FARM
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 FOR THEMSELVES. NOT EVERYONE HAS THE PHYSICAL ABILITY, SKILLS, ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE, AND TIME TO GROW A PLANT EVERY MONTH OR EVERY DAY; IT IS EXHAUSTING. ANOTHER IMPORTANT ASPECT IS THAT PROCESSED
FOOD
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 IS NOT A HEALTHY OPTION.
THAT IS
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 TO SAY,
PEOPLE
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 DO NOT KNOW HOW THE
FOOD
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 WAS CREATED. IT MAY HAVE CHEMICAL INGREDIENTS, WHICH ARE HARMFUL TO OUR BODIES, OR
BACTERIA
Punctuation problem
BACTERIA,
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 BECAUSE THE FACTORY WAS NOT CLEAN. IN CONCLUSION,
THIS
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 TOPIC IS COMPLEX AND DOES NOT HAVE A STRAIGHTFORWARD ANSWER.
OVERALL
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, I HOLD THE VIEW THAT MANUFACTURED
FOOD
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 IS BAD FOR OUR HEALTH. I WILL GO WITH IT AS A QUICK SOLUTION. HUMANS CAN START PLANTING AS A HABIT
BUT
Punctuation problem
, BUT
show examples
 NOT AS A
FOOD
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 RESOURCE. UNLESS THEY DO NOT HAVE A JOB, THEY CAN START THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND RUN A SUPERMARKET.

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Task response
Start with a clear view in the first paragraph. Say if you think it is good or bad and why.
Coherence
Use simple words to show links between ideas. Use 'and', 'but', 'however' and small linking phrases.
Content
Give one or two strong points for both sides, and back them with small facts or examples.
Language
Check grammar and spellings. Some phrases are odd or repeat.
Structure
Make a plan: Intro -> two body paragraphs -> conclusion with your view.
Content
The essay shows a clear view at the end.
Coherence
There are linking words to connect ideas.
Structure
Plan is seen: intro, body, conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: